Abby and Owen have been broken up for over two months. But when Abby is attacked during a robbery at her house, Owen puts the past behind him in order to protect her. As they try to solve the crime, they grow closer together once again; or so Owen thinks.

Law, Crime, Mystery, Suspense
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Important Post

Plz finish it!!!!! Plz!

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Important Post
Deleted User

That is what every author wants to create to draw in an audience...and you did it! This is going to be a great story once you have finished it. I recommend you add more spacing to make it easier to read. I am thinking this is your first draft as there are some obvious needs.

1. Head Hopping, I know this is a hard lesson, I too had to learn it. You start with Abby, then jump to the emergency operator's view, then to the police... Show more

Important Post

Yes, you did well "attempting" to write in 1st pov. It isn't too hard when you get used to it, and you seem used to it already.

You have a very intriguing hook with a high degree of tension "shown" immediately. You know the value of that. I also like your small details, vis a vis the weather; the physical descriptions of the characters. These kinds of things draw me in closer to the storyline.
Good job. Stay in first with this... Show more

Important Post

I like it so far :) i think of an idea for a name could b "When the killer comes knocking."
any good????? ryt mre, lemme no wen u update, n i better b 1st 2no XD or il call the police....and tht will not end well......O-o

Important Post

You pull the reader in immediately and make your characters instantly likeable. What a great way to start! You've also introduced a wonderful degree of suspense, mixing the tragedy of a crime with personal drama in a a very balanced blend.

Writing in first person is, as you say, a challenge, but you seem to have done pretty well so far (better than I could have done). A few minor typos as I'm sure you figured, but nothing... Show more

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