Bloody Mary

By:
User: Jess
Bloody Mary

Kimberly, also known as, Kim, was just playing a harmless game of 'Bloody Mary', right? Nah. It isn't harmless at all. She had to find that out the hard way.


Keywords: 
Short Story&Horror
Posts and Comments
Important Post
Ivyjade

It was good, I think that's all I have to say. It was really good.

Important Post
luckyscar

Overall I liked it, though it does need to be polished. A few things i remember is on the first page you say my breaths came out fast and uneven. My suggestion is you change it to something like this: My breathing became fast and uneven. Also on the first page you say: I nearly tripped over a fallen branch. I think this adds more to how she it came to be that she trips: Fear had taken a firm grip on me, in my state of anxiety... Show more

Important Post
the.dragon

Wow, I'm really impressed. Not only was that frightening but it was really entertaining, and even though I don't have asthma I was almost wheezing myself. Very impressive wrtiting indeed, filled with action, suspense and fear. Now I know about one game I will never play, thanks for the warning with this thrilling story ;)

Important Post
Texish

that scared the crap outta me! but it was still really good

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