Bloody Mary

User: Jess
Bloody Mary
Kimberly, also known as, Kim, was just playing a harmless game of 'Bloody Mary', right? Nah. It isn't harmless at all. She had to find that out the hard way.

Short Story&Horror
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Important Post

It was good, I think that's all I have to say. It was really good.

Important Post

Overall I liked it, though it does need to be polished. A few things i remember is on the first page you say my breaths came out fast and uneven. My suggestion is you change it to something like this: My breathing became fast and uneven. Also on the first page you say: I nearly tripped over a fallen branch. I think this adds more to how she it came to be that she trips: Fear had taken a firm grip on me, in my state of anxiety... Show more

Important Post

Wow, I'm really impressed. Not only was that frightening but it was really entertaining, and even though I don't have asthma I was almost wheezing myself. Very impressive wrtiting indeed, filled with action, suspense and fear. Now I know about one game I will never play, thanks for the warning with this thrilling story ;)

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