Short and to the point.
I loved it.
I noticed a couple errors, but nothing big. The description on your first paragraph is excellent. :-)
thank you for the comments I will think about what you guys said:)
That was a real short story. I suggest you could have made it a little longer. There are some typos and grammar mistakes. PM me in case you want me to point them out for you.
Keep writing and you'll get better.
Wow nice book