Good one. I tried golf a few times years ago; I was as bad as you. I actually put three into the water next to me with amazing slices. They went about about 10-feet in the air before literally doing a right turn into the water. Three in a row before I managed to dribble one down the fairway about 50 feet--worm burners I think they're called.
And I wasn't very good at water skiing either....
To be continued???
I remember the one and only time I tried golf. Your well chosen words remind me of the horrible embarrassment, fortunate only that my girl friend was every bit as inept while we followed our husbands around the course.
this was a lot of fun to read - I hope the continuation will appear soon.