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Created by:
paulashene
Created on: June 11th 2010
Last update: January 4th 2012
BXID: paulashene_1276226230.7490561008
Clicks: 102
Pages: 14
Language: English
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Paula Shene/ cover photo Patrick Shene
Estival Interlude Lament



Blurb:
Summertime in the Hamptons, playground of the rich and famous. Changes of attitudes, changes in landscapes, loss of lives.
cover photo by Patrick Shene
copyright 2010 Paula Shene


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Comments

9 users wrote a comment on this book. 
charlielmo has saved "Estival Interlude Lament" to his/her favorites
On July 28th 2010
katemoody has saved "Estival Interlude Lament" to his/her favorites
On July 12th 2010
paulashene commented at July 10th 2010
Thank you Kayla
glad you enjoyed! I love your motto - shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land in the stars! Keep shooting!...Paula
Answer
authoroffantasy commented at July 9th 2010
great
Very nice story you have told here. The imagery is wonderful and the message is clear at the end. Have my vote!
Answer
authoroffantasy commented at July 9th 2010
great
Very nice story you have told here. The imagery is wonderful and the message is clear at the end. Have my vote!
Answer
paulashene commented at July 9th 2010
Thanks Jetski
Evoking memories was the major thrust but the day I wrote that story I was somewhat down because of the exponential increase in traffic down on the 'main' road which in actuality is a 'back road' and thinking too that some of our dogs, no matter how well fenced in, occasionally get loose and the danger involved; and the noise level!

If I could have all the conveniences yet live in a sparsely populated area I'd be a very happy camper. But I am also practical so writing about it is my pressure cooker release...I shall take heart and not despair! thanks and He does! Paula
Answer
jetski commented at July 9th 2010
Interlude
Recalling the past is always fun when done selectively. As for modernization, it has its pitfalls.
There still remains much land to cultivate. This earth is bigger than most realize. Don't despair.
Brought up some fond memories for me. Thanks. God bless.
Answer
dr.wardha commented at July 7th 2010
very heartfelt
its a story i can relate to paula...we all look back at our childhood homes,our childhood citites and towns and watch silently as they are altered and mutilated by different forces,some man made, some natural...but all tumultous because they mean change.well done.
Answer
paulashene commented at July 7th 2010
This is my third time
in answering your editing.

First, thank you for taking the time to do it. I had several readers proof it before it settling in as a read and no one caught the glaring mistakes.

I got a satyr instead of the wanted deer in faun instead of fawn. Yea is an age thing as is axle an American thing, so, for me, are correct.

I'm not sure I agree with all the hyphens you want me to use but you are spot on, on the commas. I tend to overuse commas. This time I underused.
Then too, the hyphen I used was incorrect and you caught that.

The tense of the verb is correct as it refers back to the Out skating and out running. I doing a toss up with the apostrophe as you said it's not needed at all and I was told to kick it outside by my other editor - I wanted boy's to denote possession of games; and, I went and forgot possession of children's. upside down as an adverb is not hyphenated.

I will be doing the corrections after the contest is over. My fingers itch to get on it!...Paula




Answer
paulashene commented at July 7th 2010
Thanks Michael
for the good review. I try not to be predictable in my writing but I must be, at least up to now, by your comment.

I shall try to keep you surprised...Paula
Answer
paulashene commented at July 7th 2010
thanks, and yes I'm sure
my grandchildren will be bemoaning the losses that will occur as they become adults and our streets become more and more clogged as the county scene turns urban...thanks for the comments....Paula
Answer
rebekahjennings commented at July 7th 2010
Hi Paula, Sorry it took...
Hi Paula,

Sorry it took so long for my read. But better late than never, lol...

I enjoyed your story. The structure feels good and the writing is tight. I've done some workshopping for you, below.

I will vote for you, too. Goodluck.

Pg 5: Squirrels should be in lower case. Seasons are written in lower case. I feel like 'This magestic'should be 'the magestic' or 'a' because you haven't yet introduced the tree. I'd also check your style manual on writing dates. Also, 'yea'should be 'yeah'.

Pg 6: Numbers under a 100 should be written. Adjectival phrases should be hypenated, like '35 mile an hour' zone and 'year round' and 'self same'. Comma is needed between 'round' and 'human', and 'summer'and 'human'.

Pg 7: Is 'faun'supposed to be 'fawn'? Comma between 'dead'and 'broken'. Comma between 'he'and 'too'.

Pg 8: 'Happen'should be 'happened'. 'Three to five'should be hypenated, 'three-to-five'. Comma between 'local'and 'Long'.

Pg 9: Jockey doesn't require capitalisation. Comma's aren't needed after 1930s and 1940s.

Pg 10: 'Ice encrusted' should be hyphenated. Comma between 'between'and 'but'. Don't think commas either side of 'horror' are necessary. 'First eight years' should be hyphenated. ...the boys was a... 'was'should be 'were'. The comma after 'even though' should come before it.

Pg 11: '9 months' should be written and hyphenated. Comma between 'old' and 'baby'. 'Three wheeler' should be hyphenated. Apostrophe isn't needed after 'boys'. 'Two wheeled' should be hyphenated.

Pg 12: 'Upside down' should be hyphenated. '45' should be written. 'Axles' should be 'axels'unless this is an english thing. 'Three miles' should be hyphenated.

Pg 14: Comma between 'homes'and 'which'. 'Ten months' hyphenated. Hyphenate 'high stress level' then comma and 'walk up' needs hyphenating. Comma between 'grandparents' and 'who'. I think 'fence-less' should be one word? 60 needs to be written. Write 'half'. Childrens should have an apostrophe to show possession. Comma needed between 'future'and 'country'.

Bek :)
Answer
ashokaatreya commented at July 7th 2010
Your story is wodnderfully knit...

Your story is wodnderfully knit arround childhood...but I think one day they would also be adults like us,what they would think about the childhood?After the grneration gap,the change that occurs is vry natural.Good reading
Ashok Aatreya
Answer
paulashene commented at June 25th 2010
Thanks Junie
It really was a simpler time - we all lived in our own little corners of the world, seldom overlapping.

I was the first in my family to travel across the country and continued to do that 6 times, only twice was traveling for traveling sake - the other times relocating. I've been fortunate to see all but three states. I came full circle, back to my roots [summer]to settle full time. I would love to relocate one more time to the Northwest but for now I'll watch the East coast squirrels squabble with the incoming Jays and Cardinals.
Answer
lshilo has saved "Estival Interlude Lament" to his/her favorites
On June 23rd 2010
paulashene commented at June 23rd 2010
thank you all who have enjoyed
and voted too. This was a spur of the moment story watching the squirrels getting 'kicked out' of their tree house and a visit to dictionary.com [my laptop is on the desk looking out the picture window]. The featured word of the day was Estival. Both incidents together birthed the story.
Answer
etelizabeth commented at June 22nd 2010
A lovely Lament
Delightful word pictures preside on these pages! Kudos, Paula. You have my vote, Elizabeth
Answer
paulashene commented at June 22nd 2010
That would be most appreciated robottina
I am able to see and proof compositions that I have not written but after a while my own proofing needs another eye to grab my needed corrections..please do send me the transmission...
Answer
paulashene commented at June 22nd 2010
Thanks Brian - I will pass on the compliment to my son Patrick
He did point out to me that the deer is different then what we have on the East Coast but I felt this picture hit the heart of my lament and was a compliment to the story...
Answer
robottina commented at June 21st 2010
Transmission of Interlude
Hello p4ula,
Your broadcast has many human "nostalgic" qualities to it, but then you wrap up your transmission with a very important message. robottina hopes that more readers will tune in and become receptive to it. You also certainly do an excellent job at speaking for non-humans!
robottina did find a few missing or misplaced apostrophes, and can send this in a private transmission if you are interested.
Good luck!
robottina
Answer
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