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Created by:
rebekahjennings
Created on: June 18th 2010
Last update: June 19th 2010
BXID: rebekahjennings_1276835269.8303709030
Clicks: 161
Pages: 26
Language: English
Category: Short Story
Rebekah Jennings
Orlando, My Hero
Copyright 2010




Blurb:
Jen isn't sleeping. She blames it on the hot, summer nights, but what's the real cause of her sleeplessness. Find out where Jen's search for her hero takes her.


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Comments

12 users wrote a comment on this book. 
camryn123 has saved "Orlando, My Hero" to his/her favorites
On March 30th 2011
shawnrenee has saved "Orlando, My Hero" to his/her favorites
On December 3rd 2010
coreytedwards commented at December 1st 2010
I just stumbled upon this story and I'm really glad that I did. It was a powerful story. You're a talented writer, I look forward to reading more of your work soon!
Answer
coreytedwards has saved "Orlando, My Hero" to his/her favorites
On December 1st 2010
rebekahjennings commented at July 12th 2010
If you're referring to my story being shortlisted, then thanks very much. I am happy about it and cannot wait to find out the judges decision.

Bek
Answer
katemoody has saved "Orlando, My Hero" to his/her favorites
On July 12th 2010
rebekahjennings commented at July 9th 2010
Thanks for that Elizabeth. I have had my comments disappear on more than one occasion and you know me. I write lengthy feedback. So I've learned to copy my work before I press submit. It has saved me many times. Then if it disappears I paste it back in and it works the second time.

I'll have another read. I thought I'd fixed the dialogue that was missing its closing quote, silly me. But I'm wondering on the comma rules. I know I was supposed to add commas just prior to 'too' and there were some other suggestions but maybe I don't know all the comma rules?

Bek :)
Answer
etelizabeth commented at July 9th 2010
Where did my comments go?
Hi, Bek, I've read this piece and left comments, but for some strange reason, they are not showing up. The storyline is an interesting premise; I wonder if you are involved in the study of mind disorders. You step into that realm quite easily. I, too, love the intrigue of the recesses of the mind! A grand pursuit of unlimited possibilities. I have read this tale the second time and there are areas that need punctuation for clarity, and also in one instance you started the (' ) but left the ending (' ) off, so it was unclear where the speech dropped off. Also, read it over for commas, ( I saw several spots that called for a comma before the last word in the sentence). Again, you do a fantastic job with your characters...good work. Your writing keeps on growing! I look forward to the next story. Elizabeth
Answer
mangal has saved "Orlando, My Hero" to his/her favorites
On July 7th 2010
cavlaster commented at July 2nd 2010
An enjoyable read...
I like your creative tale. I have a sister who suffers from that condition. Thanks for sharing.
Answer
rebekahjennings commented at June 28th 2010
Thanks loads, Valerie. Yes, I'm questioning my taste, lol... in cover art. I thought this would work as it shows the police lights (bit of foreshadowing) and also the cutsie font that also indicate 'love'. All feedback welcome though. I've learned a lot from all of you.

Bek :)
Answer
gooduklady commented at June 27th 2010
Excellent job
Your story kept me glued to every page. You did an excellent job of keeping the reader engaged and painted a vivid portrayal of someone with a mental disease. I agree with Wendy, though. Change the front cover picture to something more catchy. Good luck and congrats on another fine piece. Valerie
Answer
kalai29 commented at June 27th 2010
Simple theme
You have taken a simple theme but has successfully elaborated it into a fast reading piece. Jen is a reflection of girls of this modern age, where they chase unknown pastures and forget to live in the present.
Answer
scoraus has saved "Orlando, My Hero" to his/her favorites
On June 25th 2010
gangman65 has saved "Orlando, My Hero" to his/her favorites
On June 22nd 2010
magilla1football commented at June 21st 2010
well done you are doing so well
Answer
rebekahjennings commented at June 21st 2010
Hi Robin, Your comments are...
Hi Robin,

Your comments are valued, especially so given you too are both talented and clued in on the craft. I am not always very confident in my writing so you have truly uplifted me today. Thanks for taking time to read my work and give me feedback.

Bek
Answer
lovingempath commented at June 20th 2010
Wow...
You did a great job of capturing (and portraying) many symptoms of 'several' abnormal-psychology disorders Bek. "Bipolar disease" being the most obvious here. (I'm also working on a short story, with a severe 'manic/depressive' cycle. I'm waiting fr my next 'manic' episode to finish it..:).

This caught me by the throat from the very first page, and kept me going till the end. To me...this is your finest piece to date - and that says a LOT...You're a very fine writer indeed!

Best of luck!
Robin

Answer
ashokaatreya commented at June 20th 2010
Please read sad and not...

Please read sad and not said in my writing here for you.
Answer
ashokaatreya commented at June 20th 2010
How said...

How said and worrying outcome of your hero,Orlando who could disturb Jen to the extent that she became a mental case.Sending her message from the cover of a magazine...and all other things are natural but to me that all is a sort of case study and does not fit into total creative experience for that you require some additional ideas and thoughts
Still the piece is interesting and the whole too
Ashok Aatreya
Answer
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