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My Magical and Mystical Friends Part 1

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My Magical and Mystical Friends Part 1

This is a story that has many plot twists and has love and hate. The main character Ally Graves goes through tenth grade in highschool and gets her heart broken many times.


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Important Post
Deleted User

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Important Post
judycolella

You have some really interesting characters in this story, and the beginnings of a good story line. There are a few things you should look into, however, before you add to this.

First, every use of "seen" should be "saw." That's just a hard and fast grammar rule that makes your narrative smoother, and makes it much easier to read. There are a number of other grammar and syntax errors that need to be fixed, but your spelling... Show more

4 Comments
felixthecat

Hi there, Alexis. I think Judy covered most of the pertinent things...and did it very well. I agree wholeheartedly with her regarding her comment that you have the basis for a fine story, and I'd like to add that if you are serious about making it sing, you must not give up. You... Show more

Alex.Adkins801

thank you for your comments

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Deleted User

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