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Under the Warmth of the Sun

By:
User: Boodie
Under the Warmth of the Sun
Under the Warmth of the Sun, lives intertwine and col-lide across two planets, with Nola York at the epicenter. James wants to be with her; he lost her once and he will do anything to get her back. Brenton wanted to protect her from those who were scheming to kill her, but to spare her life, he had to betray her. And Teagon lost everything in his attempt to kill her.


(This is my first attempt at Scifi and my first long book, I hope you like it. Please read and tell me your honest feedback, I would much appreciate it.)




This Book is Part of a Series "Nibiru"
All Books in this Series:
Under the Warmth of the Sun
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Posts and Comments
Important Post
James Gerard

Have you started to write the next book in the series "Nibiru?"

1 Comment
Boodie

Yes, I am in the preparation stage, also before I start I am trying to digest your corrections in the first one so as to avoid doing them on the second. The second one will be during a war that took place in Nibiru, in earlier times that Under the Warmth of the Sun, and it is a little darker.

Important Post
James Gerard

Finished. Great story. I thought, for your first shot a sci-fi story, this is an excellent tale that is filled with intrigue, surprises, and gives an excellent description of a far away world and its people. Well done. Loved the story.

8 Comments | Show Earlier Comments
James Gerard

Yes, I did notice the new connections in chapter 3. It adds to the story. And yes, the names of the chapters are also a very nice addition to the story. And remember, the story itself is excellent. You do a great job of creating a very complex plot in very subtle ways.

Boodie

Thanks a lot :) I really do appreciate your effort in correcting my mistakes, I am going through it chapter by chapter correcting as you send me emails. THANKS and I am writing a new story now, and am careful to use all the stuff I learn from you early on. I think you will be... Show more

James Gerard

No problem my friend.

Important Post
James Gerard

Wow! Chapters 16-18, now that was a surprise. You disguised the identity so well I did not see it coming, especially after the shocker in chapter 17. This story is amazing.

1 Comment
Boodie

Excellent, thank you, you encourage me :) Now I am working a bit on Nola.

Important Post
James Gerard

Just read chapters 12-15. Enjoyed how you put a twist into the relationship.

2 Comments
Boodie

Thanks :) I am working on it over and over, correcting and adding more to the story itself. Do you still hate Brent?? I am trying to make him nicer in the new version.

James Gerard

Actually, after reading what I read in the story yesterday, it is not Brant who has to change, but Nola. That's all I am going to say without giving the story away. Nicer! Look what he did for Nola--how can that not be nice?

Important Post
James Gerard

Chapter 9-11. Wow Boodie, as I told you before you are a terrific storyteller. You indeed have the mind, imagination, and talent of a writer. The story just gets better and better.

2 Comments
Boodie

Wow, thanks for the compliment, coming from someone whose writing is so very good, it is big for me, thanks :) I have a few things in my life that is occupying me a little right now, but although very slowly, I am going through each chapter carefully and trying to correct all... Show more

James Gerard

Take your time. I will finish reading the story and wait until you post the edited chapters. I'll go through them one by one and do a more thorough editing job.

Important Post
judycolella

What makes it difficult for me to give good feedback is the knowledge that English is not you first language. Your command of English is impressive, and in many ways, you write better than some of the newer writers here who were born into an English-speaking family.

I don't want my comments to sound mean, which they certainly would never be, but from what I've read of your story (which is excellent, by the way), almost all of... Show more

3 Comments
Boodie

first of all, I would like to thank you for your constructive feedback, iit is kinds of difficult to find someone to edit my work who is a native speaker and at the same time interested in stuff like that. You got it right though most of my mistakes is that English is not my... Show more

judycolella

I think if you put out a request in Serious Writers, Better Writers, or any one of the groups like that here with more advanced authors as members, you'll be able to find someone who both enjoys that genre and has the time to work with you. It's worth a try - your story deserves... Show more

Boodie

Thanks, I'll check those groups, thank you for your time and advice

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