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The Business

You will pay for your lust By:
Posts and Comments
Important Post
Deleted User

If blasphemy were in style this story would fit right in. I found it gripping, hard to put down and very 'Stephen King' like. Well done... but there are some inconsistencies. For instance Edward suddenly becomes Leland near the end. (A bit confusing) and it needs a good review of spelling, missed words, etc.

All in all, I liked it. It was original, well organized and read well. Nicely done.

Important Post

A very endearibg styke of writing...nothing could stop me from reading on...oh ...and it's visual imagery is perfect...a must read book...

Important Post

I like it a lot. I reminds me of a Stephen King novel, and it did the whole way through. I was suprised when Stephen King was actually mentioned it. The language and content is very dark, and shrouded in mystery. You make your point across very well without being too obvious that this man is not normal. The whole "business" deal is very mysterious, and suspenceful. I want to find out what it is. I am not finished reading it... Show more

Important Post

Review - Gritty language for a gritty story. It is unusual and captures the interest. You feel the characters conflict and pain. Your opening creates a lot of questions right away.

Though I'm not fond of the language used, I can see where this fits your character and the circumstances. It will be interesting to see where you take it.

You mentioned writer's block on this, yet you've left it at a very interesting spot. How does... Show more

Important Post
Deleted User

This is a very original story and that is rare. It would be easier to read if there were more breaks in the text/paragraphs. I'm not sure if the age recomdation is good, but then again I don't have kids, so I don't know what they are reading at what age. Keep going with the story. If this is someone else's cup of tea, they are going to want more of it. It really pulls you in.

Important Post

Nice! Usually books on here hardly catch my attention. But, I did like this story so far. I hope you continue to write more.

Let me know when you update~


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