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Lost In A Dream

By:
User: indie23
Lost In A Dream

A young woman falls asleep after a hard days work then finds herself in a different time period. She discovers a road and decides to follow it, hoping it would lead her back home, to her own time. Only the road leads her to a new discovery about herself.

 

 


Keywords: 
fiction, dreaming, lost, home
Posts and Comments
Important Post
indie23

Thank you, I'm glad liked the story otherwise, and yes, I tend to use "that" often. I will try to work on it. Thanks Again! :)

1 Comment
This comment was deleted.
Important Post
Deleted User

Yes, I agree with Sereni when she says it's rushed. You can fill it with more scenes and descriptions.
I also noticed you like to use the word 'that' a lot. In the sentences where you have 'that' read it without. You'll see you don't need it.
I liked the story, very imaginative. Your cover is beautiful as well.

Important Post
indie23

You're right about those few areas, but I haven't had a chance to go through the story again. When I do I will be fixing a few things and adding a bit more to the story. Thank you Sereni for your feedback. I appreciate it. :)

Important Post
sereni

Let me start off by saying I love your cover.

I found your story full of adventure, and enjoyed reading about those of Aridni’s .

I did think there were a few place that you could take a look at. Your second paragraph where the restaurant had the red and white wallpaper made me think of an ice cream parlor, though! A burgundy stripe might work better? It would add to the sophistication of the restaurant. Maybe something like... Show more

Important Post
indie23

Thank you, I'm glad you liked this story. I came up with the idea for this story with a dream I had one night.

Important Post
Demonata-Freak

Oh, so she feel for the lad and doesnt go home....
i honesly did not see that commin, i thought he might go home with her
This is the first book you have used a personal narration, which means using 'I' and 'Me' instead of 'He' and 'She'.
It was a nice book about time tr\vle, something you dont see enough

Important Post
Poetwriter2011

Indira,

The book cover is beautiful. This adventurous story is captivating and full of mystery. I look forward to reading more.

Great job!

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