Time Travel
Join Cindy as she travels through time into another world...

Posts and Comments
Important Post
William S. Taylor

Read part of page one.

William S. Taylor

What, you are ten years old, wow. I suggest you go to your local library and read ALL the fiction books on time travel and in around five years time you will be ready to blow us all away with your fine description of an alternative universe. Well done and the best of luck.

This comment was deleted.
Important Post

I believe you have the skill, & ideas needed to develop this story further.
As rgabel & akshara mentioned your story can be padded out by using description.
You could also extend the story by using different timelines.
I am looking forward to reading more of this story.

Important Post

A very nice short story, indeed! You may need to change the category of the book into "Short stories" since it is one :) And also try to describe the things she saw in France.

Example: Cindy saw many people, crowding and rushing over an area, making her wonder what would be there. She also noticed that the people were all dressed differently, like how people during the ancient times would, with a vintage edge to everything... Show more

Important Post

For a ten year old you have nice sentence structure. This is such a nice beginning for a much bigger story than you have written. May I suggest you go back and add more to it. For instance, maybe the clock could be discovered in the attic. You could describe more of what she see's in 1672 France. Maybe she could have a daring adventure with the waiter first, before he gives her back the clock. Sounds like it is a large clock,... Show more

To ensure optimal functioning, our website uses cookies. By using the website you agree to the use of cookies. More info
Top of page
No Thumbnail Remove Please choose a reason Please enter the place in the book. en en_US