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PATIENT-X

MADNESS AT MONTAUK By:
PATIENT-X
Jason Cutter is an ordinary guy who has been used and abused by shadowy forces in the guise of Government.Used in Mind Controll experiments that turned him into a Manchurian Candidate, they use him to assassinate the President of the United States. Chaos is created in the form of terrorist attacks and assassinations of other world leaders enableing them to step in and take controll.Jason and journalist Shaun Kane face unsurmounting odds in their race to prevent the creation of a New World Order that is based on fear and terror,leading them to discover who really is controlling everything and has been since time began.

Posts and Comments
Important Post
Rgabel

I agree with my predecessors, edit, edit, edit! But at the same time, good hook. I normally don't read stories of this nature but it pulled me in and kept me going, that tells me you are good at plot and pace. Yes, continue to finish this. Would love to see the finished, polished product. Good job. Robynn

Important Post
judycolella

Needs a lot of editing for grammar, spelling, and syntax, but the story line is well-constructed, and the level of knowledge and research on the details of the story are impressive. Good enough for a best-seller, and would make one heck of a great action movie!

Important Post
dholm1

Great beginning. Nice hook right from the first page to catch the reader's attention. I'm not sure about giving away so soon that the vice-president was a part of this, but it's difficult to know for sure when I've only read an excerpt. There are a few problems with awkward wording in some sentences and also a few punctuation issues, but these are all fairly easy to correct. I'll pass along some notes privately that I took on... Show more

Important Post
jason.ronin

Thanks joe for your kind words,I know some of it does need looking at and will get round to that in time when i have a bit more down.

Important Post
joeparente

It came hard and fast with a fantastic start. That was good!. Some of you comparisons were a bit stretched. Example: He dropped him like a hot log? Some sentencing could be re-worked. All in all I liked the energy that was displayed in your story. You deserve a vote./joeparente

Important Post
jason.ronin

thanks for looking at my work sverre.It is the first part of a much bigger novel i am working on more will be posted shortly.

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