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Fairy Tales Are For Pussies

User: Jess
Fairy Tales Are For Pussies
A modern day twist of Red Riding Hood.

Nisty is a thirteen year old assassin. Everyone calls her Red, because of her bright red hair. She was taught to never trust anyone. She was 7 when they first recruited her. The world is full of bad guys, and she’s one of the people who exterminate them. At age thirteen, she’s already mature. She knows every way to kill a human, and how to kill them slowly.
One winter day, when everyone was bundled up at home, she was called to kill someone. As she was heading out, her mother, who was clueless to all the killing, asked her to drop something off at her grandmother’s house. A house in the middle of nowhere, the only house for miles.

Posts and Comments
Important Post

I love how Red Riding Hood is a paid assassin:) Do you cover how she got into the game in the first place?

Also quick critique, you had mentioned she never questioned the boss as to why those people needed to be killed, then followed with, but I did question once and learned never to do it again. I'd suggest rephrasing that as it's pretty contradictory. Maybe say something like, Only once did I make the mistake of questioning... Show more

Important Post

Great twist--I love modern day takes on fairy tales. Would have like a little more detail though, like how Red got into the game, and what happened that time she questioned her boss. Really enjoyed reading it though!

Important Post

I like it. I hope to find more in it soon, it is very invigorating and fast paced. But still a very good read.

Important Post

I won't comment on the theme of your story, although I find a thirteen year old assassin to be rather unusual. It certainly is different and could be quite an interesting premise.

In order to help you clean up your story, I'd like to offer a few helpful hints, which will make it read better.

First, as previously mentioned, it is imperative that you break up your paragraphs so that there is a separation between the dialog of... Show more

Important Post

And interesting piece... I'd like to see where this goes, though I hope it stays PG rated.

Good job :) You kept me wondering the whole time!

However, I do have some critiques:

Even speaking through a wireless device, I think it'd be correct for you to enter a new line every time a different character starts to speak. If you don't, you can confuse your reads at times and make them stop to figure out who is talking and who is... Show more

Important Post
Deleted User

Haha add more!!!

Important Post

your blurb about the story is really great - it makes me want to read more than what you've got posted. let me know when you add more!

just so you know, on the first page it says "you take the back, all take the front" when it should say "you take the back, I'll take the front"
other than that, your punctuation, grammar and spelling is near perfection :)

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