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Rapture

Year One (Only Scene 1-13 are done) By:
User: copperfox
Rapture
The End of the world has come. Pitting Demons and Humans against each other. This is the first of the seven years of apocalyptic battle.

Posts and Comments
Important Post
Deleted User

Plzzz. ︀Write ︀me! ︀I ︀m ︀waiting ︀for ︀you, ︀open ︀link ︀>>>>> www.date4fuq.com?_ebook-kyle-white-rapture

Important Post
Deleted User

Woodstock, NY

Six million, no less, who would have thought?

It is a toxic mix that can't be fixed. Right now, Americans have no shared
values other than self-interest, football, and guns. Germans are wise to
observe how recklessly we are faltering in every regard.

------
Video: https://moxox.com
Music: https://muxiv.com
AV: http://yofuk.com

2 Comments
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Deleted User

Plzzz. ︀Write ︀me! ︀I ︀m ︀waiting ︀for ︀you, ︀open ︀link ︀>>>>> www.date4fuq.com?copperfox_1270227952.2377510071

Important Post
rebekahjennings

Hi,

Love the front cover. I think it is great that you've stuck to this task and planned out 90 pages. Well done. I've popped a couple of queries and comments in for page 5 & 6.

Pg 5: Should 'This just in' be 'This 'is' just in'?

Your first scene is funny. People will see this as pretty slapstick. I hope that's your intention.

Pg 5: Should 'I've come to clam your souls' be 'I've come to 'claim' your souls'?

In the second... Show more

1 Comment
copperfox

Thank you for the compliment. And yes i did realize the opening was funny. It was my intention at first, but with the rest of the story I have decided to make a different opening. One with less speaking and more visual.

Thank you again.

Important Post
joeparente

You have a very vivid imagination. Although I am not quite done with your story I can see why you have rated this x. I have done some acting and I can see your construction in building this screenplay. The author, as you have done, has to play all parts and direct the movements that take place on the boards. Further direction of these movements could be more explicit in order to eliminate confusion to the final director./joeparente

1 Comment
copperfox

Thank you sir. I was trying to capture the pure evil of the Demons and the two sides to humanity. It is a first draft so its kinda rough and it is my first screen play. What would you sudjest i do to make the movements more explicit.

Important Post
copperfox

i didn't put a description for the demons because i wanted anyone to be able to picture what their own demon would look like and i think that's what makes them truly terrifying. And i hate to admit that the beginning did turn out humorous even though that wasn't my intention. But it was just hard to come up with a dramatic opening since i wanted it to be set in a news cast room. And thank you for the compliment.

Important Post
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