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Almost Home

By:
Almost Home
After a girls night out it all goes wrong for Mandy one hundred yards from home

Keywords: 
Attack, nightmare, terror, scared
Posts and Comments
Important Post
Deleted User

◔_◔ ︀↪ ︀➭ WWW.DATE4FUQ.COM?_ebook-martin-king-almost-home

Important Post
sylvia.kilmart

WAS A GOOD BOOK.

2 Comments
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Deleted User

◔_◔ ︀↪ ︀➭ WWW.DATE4FUQ.COM?martinking1960_1288359792.1114690304

Important Post
four.oclock

Hello :)

Really good story and good flow of narration. The suspense is there which I definitely liked. The only thing I would suggest is to change the commas. I admit I got confused with all the commas. But just that.

I also wonder how you'll proceed with this. I'm a big fan of detective stories, but I think it'd be cool to see how you work out a story of revenge. But that's just me of course. It's still your choice.

And also a... Show more

1 Comment
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Important Post
lazarus67

Hi, Yes like the previous comment , its too short. It needs to be , i believe 29 pages and more to qualify for the contest.
And one more thing, please punctuate.
Laz

Important Post
martinking1960

Thankyou very much for your comments, and as to finishing or closing it I am still wandering what direction to take it whether to turn it into a detective solving a crime or a revenge story, let me know what you think cheers

Important Post
lilcowgurl

it was going pretty good but you need to finish the story line.. you kinda left it hanging there. :) keep it up, your doing really well!!

1 Comment
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