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The Young Family

By:
User: biggie890
The Young Family
This is about being a young father and having children in general. Mens point of view when raising his children alone.

Keywords: 
young, father, life
Posts and Comments
Important Post
robbedbygreed

This is an interesting story you've got here. It's unique, to say the least.

You do, however, seem to switch from past to present tense. I thought the story was being told by Jordan as if it had already happened, but then it switched to 'happening right now' kind of narration.

Also, the background on the pages is very distracting and makes it hard to read the text. Ah! This could turn away so many readers, and you don't want... Show more

Important Post
biggie890

Thank you sportsshorts..I will polish this all up once I get a few more chapters out on paper..I will go back and re read it together and then change it and let you all know how it is coming:)

Important Post
kimmyj79

I think that is great you stepped up..keep writing..I have the same problem but just check grammar and things

Important Post
biggie890

Thank you for that advice, and reading my chapter:) Yea I tend to run off at the mouth. It was very hard being a single dad, and I use to think that it was so easy..I give the single mothers out there credit, your doing great..
Thank you again for the comment:)

Important Post
yezall

Anyone can be a father but it takes a real man to be a Dad. The man in your story stepped up and took responsibility.

I see you had fun with the editor,picking a background for your story but in my opinion it distracts from your words. I would also refine my skills with sentence structure. Not that its bad,but it could be better. That could be said about 75% of us.

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