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Shadow

The things that lurk in the dark... By:
Shadow
You shouldn't walk alone in the dark when there are things out to get you. Nicki finally realized one night but has she learned her lesson. (This is on a short story that I wrote when I was younger so don't have you hopes set too high)

Keywords: 
dark, shadow, alone
Posts and Comments
Important Post
Jay Babee

If you read this when you were younger then i feel bad!!! haha. reminds me of the first thing i wrote THE AXE MAN ohhh so scary right. I think i might have nightmares about that shadow thingy though. definitely creepy. It's coming...

1 Comment
Important Post
Deleted User

I liked the fact that the ending left you with no resolve: the main character is going to die, and there's nothing you can do about it. It reminds me of the ending of the original Nightmare on Elm Street. There were some grammar errors that I saw though, such as: "blood" on page 3. It should be "bleed". And on page 4, "she" should be replaced by "the". I'm guessing that's just a common typo. Also, on Page 5, the sentence at... Show more

Dance, My Sweet. Common Enchantments Series https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sabrina-jade-howard-dance-my-sweet/ A wish... just one thing I ask for. Just one wish to help me on my way. Make me pretty, witch. Make men look at me as if I were more beautiful than HER. Just... One... Wish...
Important Post
judycolella

Nice telling of the quintessential ghost story, the kind that we love to hear (and tell) when sitting around a campfire or on a stormy night! You do this very well. There are a few minor things, like "it was going to be Friday the 13th" - Friday the 13th isn't an event, but an actual date, and since you'd already stated it was Friday night, all you really needed was to add that it was also the 13th (unless this happens the... Show more

Important Post
Chelsea

it wasn't that bad if you wrote it when you were younger

2 Comments
whitetiger9

I wasn't too much younger only 12

Chelsea

i wrote stuff like that when i was twelve too, I'm fourteen now and more serious

Important Post
theroselily13

Like, omg. My friend read this today and told me to read it.. and i love it!! (: like for real... u should seriously update or write a sequel!! Its amazing for something you wrote when you were younger.! Dang I wish i could write like this! (: Love it, write more.

Important Post
robbedbygreed

Well, this was nerve racking, to say the least. So... well done :)

However, I do have some critiques:

I found the story a tad choppy as you sometimes you forget words or letters (one example is when you accidentally put "ad" instead of "and"). There were also some spelling mistakes along side several capitalization errors. Your syntax is a bit messy, thus confusing as well as sometimes there is some missing punctuation.

Be... Show more

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