BookRix

ツ ︀➞ http://fantazm.Ⓞnline#

A somewhat obscure story of unimaginable characters. Except for one, and then...Did Corny have 'large, veined hands, or large-veined hands. Just asking.

This was very creative! I could imagine the breakfast characters jumping off their paper labels. It was so real. Snap, Crackle, and Pop were my favorite ;) Well done.

However, the story was a tad hard to follow I think it was because of the punctuation, which was lacking and rarely seen (that I remember). I think it would do you well to go back and fix all that up so that not only the words can be comprehended, but the actual story also.

Otherwise, fantastic job! It was a delight to read :)

Great job!
Keep writing!

---RbG

good luck!

You write well, and Snap, Crackle and Pop and the cast of characters kept me hopping throughout!

An inspired piece of work. Your story is captivating and your cleverly named characters grabed my attention. Two spoons up from me, may I have another please.

I'm glad you liked it! I've submitted it to the Flash Fiction contest. I don't expect to win anything since it's not as deep and dark as the other submissions but I figured maybe the change will be refreshing and I'll have a snowball's chance in hell LOL

Anyway, I'm loving the excerpt from your latest book and can't wait to read more:)

I don't think you missed a single grain in this delightful little romp over the breakfast table:)
Nice; imaginative to the max!