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Lost in Translation

A Short Story By:
Lost in Translation
American Wren Saunders is halfway through a semester studying French language and culture in Paris. Li Hai is a Chinese student finishing up a business degree from La Sorbonne. The only thing they have in common is an imperfect grasp of French, and as their time together draws to a close, Wren discovers that this is not quite enough.

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Posts and Comments
Important Post
Deleted User

I thoroughly enjoyed this short story. The description is amazing, so intimate, so soft and emotional. I would imagine this is a common situation for college students - to meet, have feelings for one another and then the real world comes along and pulls them apart. They are then on to careers and such.
Again, very well written.

2 Comments
P. K. Gallagher

Aw, I'm so very glad you enjoyed it. I definitely did my best to capture what--as you said--a lot of college students have to go through. It makes me glad that the scene came through loud and clear :)

P. K. Gallagher

Oh, thanks for the add, by the way!

Important Post
Deleted User

I absolutely love this. It's so sad, yet so heartwarming. I know how this feels (at least the inability to understand someone who speaks a different language thing.) I have several cousins who live in Puerto Rico, and the last time I saw them, I didn't know very much Spanish. Speaking to them was hard, but we tried anyway. This was a beautiful rendition of how two people from two opposite parts of the world can be meant for... Show more

1 Comment
P. K. Gallagher

Thank you! I do believe that's one of the most heartening compliments I've ever received. This piece has the potential to be really confusing, so it's always nice to hear that someone has read, enjoyed, and most importantly understood what I was going for. I'm very glad you liked it :).

Important Post
alcalm

Yeah dig it dude, I been in that jam without being too great at dealing with it. Language vibes, dude, they can mess with your head! It a cool read, kinda like putting people right in that vibespace!!! ;P

1 Comment
P. K. Gallagher

Well that's exactly what I was trying to do, so I'm glad you liked it. Where were you that you had problems with a language barrier?

Important Post
Nina Kari

Though I could only understand parts of this I completely loved it. The fact that the reader can't understand their conversations is a bit different and difficult to get into in the beginning but it also adds to the emotion we get from Wren. How she feels throughout the story is very recognizable. Content wise, I absolutely adored this. I don't have time to read a lot but this is possibly the best short indie item I've read... Show more

3 Comments
P. K. Gallagher

Thanks so much! I'm very glad you enjoyed it, and to be honest, you pretty much experienced it exactly how I intended it to be experienced. Go you! Lol, and of course, thanks for letting me know about the typo. I'm always happy to hear ways to improve my works :)

Nina Kari

Okay, good. I'm glad. I didn't want you to take it as a mean critique because I hate doing that, I wasn't trying to be mean I just know some like to be told these things. And I really did enjoy this piece once I got into the groove of the writing. Can't wait to read your novel :)
~Nina~

P. K. Gallagher

No worries. Good reviews make one's spirit soar, but critical ones make your writing better :). Like you, I'd much rather someone tell me about mistakes I've made, though I'm pretty sure criticism is more than balanced out by phrases like "I completely loved it." :D

Important Post
Deleted User

You should really make some sort of translation, at least that's what I think, your writing is great and the cover is great but I find myself skimming through the text to find out what they're talking about, and somehow it has a de-attachting effect on me when everything they say is in french, but that could just be me... You do as you like but I don't know, I would like to read it, with english talking, you could use just... Show more

3 Comments
P. K. Gallagher

Thanks for the suggestion. I've been toying with the idea of doing something like that, having gotten a lot of feedback similar to yours, but I've been putting it off because I don't really no how to fix it without spoiling the spirit of it. This situation is similar to... Show more

Deleted User

hmm, I see your point, when you put it like that I can say that you're succeeding, it is frustrating to not understand them, you put the reader outside of the conversation, as you read, you are truly an onlooker and I guess that in it shelf has some appeal, truly making the... Show more

P. K. Gallagher

Why thank you! And you could call indeed call it that. Thank you so much for the advice. I actually did end up going in and dropping a few more hints so that it's not as hard to discern what's being said, much in the vein of what you suggested. I'm sure future readers will... Show more

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