The most appropriate, and descriptive word that comes to mind is "innovative." Far different from anything I have ever read. This is not a story to be merely read. It must be absorbed. Definitely not the kind of reading to be done in bed before going to sleep. It requires an alert and active mind. I am very glad I took the time to read and absorb it.
that brought it into 7th place before sliding into 11th place - ironic but having that honor out of 250 entries is still a pleasure.
I want to thank everyone that commented, even those who didn't understand it and told me so.
And I especially want to thank the 11 people who saved and gave hearts to this story....p
I don't really follow the story - and it doesn't seem you have a narrative goal in mind here - but what a rush of images!
It kept me reading and trying to figure it out... and breathless at the end.
Enforcing a structure onto this (my opinion only) would make this really pack a wallop - I think.
Worthy of more investment - either as a story or a longer poem.