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I was in music class and my teacher said we had to use a poem we made or make our own song to put music to. Me and a friend deiced to put music to our own song.

Keywords: 
Song
Posts and Comments
Important Post
angamonkey

the simplicity of this poem added a lot to it's meaning. I loved this and I am very glad that I found this on the swap thread. Make sure you try to avoid being redundant in some parts but other than that I'd say you are a very talented poet.

2 Comments
jacob1234

thank you

angamonkey

you're welcome :)

Important Post
blackjacob

Hey the hart was my friend is a hart and thats her name spelling.And I thank you for the criticism. I have really bad spelling.

Important Post
robbedbygreed

Liked it! <3 Though I do have some critiques:

You spelled heart wrong(you spelled it hart) at the end of the first stanza.

I love that you choose free verse and not the typical Shakespearean couplet.

However, I think the meaning being the poem seems a bit shallow. I can't really feel the feeling your trying to convey. That's just my opinion.

Good job! You have talent :)
Keep Writing!

---RbG

Important Post
felixthecat

I was intrigued by your message in the post, and so I opened your book.
I agree with kbaxter...you have talent. There are a few spelling errors, and I wonder...could you sing these lines? I mean, write music to them?
I've never written lyrics, but yours really show a lot of seriously good emotion. Do keep writing. Good job:)

1 Comment
jacob1234

Yes you could sing them that was the way they were meant to be. I write songs as pomes.

Important Post
kbaxter

you have true talent! i could never come up with such amazing words, i can tell you have put you feelings into words!

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