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South America

By:
User: vinman101
South America
Its about Sam and Kelly moving away and sam ranaway then he got a new puppy because he ranaway.


NUMBER ONE ON anything303.webs.com

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Posts and Comments
Important Post
stevie.grace

I'm a little bit confused... How is this the end of the world? Is it because he ran away? I had a little trouble understanding the flow, but I think you have a lot of potential. Try filling some of the background in. You've already got the dialogue down. Maybe you can start to say things like, "Kelly gasped and stuck her thumb in her mouth. 'Ow! A box cut!'"

If you'd like, you can check out my End of the World entry to see... Show more

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Important Post
felixthecat

Vincent, you are 13. I highly applaud you for writing this story! Congratulations, really.
As Cleveland mentioned, think about these basic things when you/if you rewrite. Study those who have mastered the short story genre. Try to see what/how they have constructed winning stories. Emulate them, and for gosh sakes, keep writing--and reading voraciously! You seem to have what it takes.

Important Post
cleveland

Hi, as the contest allows any number of stories I'd suggest you re-wrote your story. Keep in mind the theme and that you need to include more description, tension, and a few other things to transform all your dialogue into a suitable story. Don't forget to read other stories to find out what is required.
Best of luck, keep writing.

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