Hi All Editors
I need some free advice from you please.
Is clear in each line of the dialogue below, who is speaking? I have used the action of the character in some lines.
"I wonder where all the good/smart writers have gone?" Billie grumbled glancing at Edgar, hidden behind his paper at the other end of the breakfast table.”
"Eh, what?" he said, peering over the top of the page.
“ I said, where have all the good writers gone?... Show more
Hi All Editors
I need some free advice from you please.
Is clear in each line of the dialogue below, who is speaking? I have used the action of the character in some lines.
"I wonder where all the good/smart writers have gone?" Billie grumbled glancing at Edgar, hidden behind his paper at the other end of the breakfast table.”
"Eh, what?" he said, peering over the top of the page.
“ I said, where have all the good writers gone? Don't you listen?"
“ Eh, yes, of course."
“ What are you reading?"
Edgar chuckled as he muttered, "The comic strip”.
Billie snorted. Where had those days gone when they used to share everything, she wondered. What happened? When did the problem start? "We used to talk."
Edgar slapped his paper onto the table and spilt his coffee. “Blast!” His face reddened with his growing anger, as he brushed his sleeve across the table. "Well what do you want to talk about then?" He fixed Billie with that familiar cold, sharp look that always seemed to penetrate into Billie's soul.
"It’s just something at work you can’t do anything about. We've got three days before we go to print and there's only one story adequate for this month’s issue.
Edgar raised his bushy eyebrows; a look of puzzlement filled his eyes. "So, use it. What's the problem? You said it was adequate."
“ It's brilliant, but ..." Billie began as she turned to glance at the clock. "Oh, is that the time already?" She pushed back her chair, grabbed her bag and headed for the door.
One grey lock of hair fell hooked over the top of the paper.
"Don’t you have any lectures this morning?
"Not until this afternoon."
“You should have that unruly mop of curls trimmed; it should have been done six months ago,” and as an afterthought, she added, and make certain you clean up that mess before you go,” she called over her shoulder and closed the door behind her.
Thank you
LittleScribbler
I am a newish member to BookRix who writes a little 'erotica' but seem to lack confidence. I would like to sell the final story if it is good enough as well as take it further to get it translated into several languages. I do not expect to make a fortune if any but you must have... Show more
I am a newish member to BookRix who writes a little 'erotica' but seem to lack confidence. I would like to sell the final story if it is good enough as well as take it further to get it translated into several languages. I do not expect to make a fortune if any but you must have an aim. What can I contribute in exchanged for your help? I am an old happily married man who would offer friendship; your name mentioned in dispatches and if there is a huge payment a share in the golden egg. I forgot to mention that one of my hobbies is painting and drawing so book cover creation could come as a possible 'thank you offer' to your own story. Waiting in suspenders!
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