When we were children, we were never taught that we are precious little beings that should one day come into our full expression of our selves. Nobody told us that we are perfect and sometimes we may never even have been told how beautiful we really are. In fear of creating a bigheaded child we were held back in our expression. How beautiful a little child is in its innocence, quest for new knowledge, quest for life and its endless quest for self expression. We were told children are to be seen, but not heard. When we talk about the cake you crumb have no say and whatever else we had to listen to that kept us in our place and that kept us little and dependent on other people. So we grow up with a self image that is not in line with what we truly are, magnificent beings that are longing for self expression. Only here, in our dualistic world, can we come to know that which we are not. Ask yourself the question: "How do I know that I am tall, small, overweight, underweight?" How do you know, I ask you? You may answer, because somebody told me, or you may answer, because I have been on the bathroom scales today and that tells me I am overweight. But from none of these answers, do you really know that it is really so. It is because we compare ourselves with other people and we see how different we are from them, that is what determines what we are in the presence of that which we are not. If we were all the same, we would have no need for certain words in our vocabulary. There is a tribe in Africa that doesn´t have a word for ship in its vocabulary, because they had never seen one, there was no need to have a word for it. For instance, if we were all 1600mm or any height for that matter, as long as it was the same, we would have no need to describe how tall or small somebody is, and so it is with everything in life. However, if somebody is less than 1600mm, does that make this person somehow inferior, or if the person was taller, would that make the person superior? Neither one is better than the other, it may have certain advantages to be taller, but when your are too tall it can also be a disadvantage. The person may have a health problem due to its height. It may be difficult to find clothes or a bed that is long enough to sleep in. So being tall, or being small, isn´t then any better, it is only a way of distinguishing ourselves from one another. And yet, how often do we use these differences as examples to make us believe we are somehow of lesser or greater value.
Another measure of our self worth we use, is whether we are loved or rejected by other people. We feel less worthy because, or especially when our love gets rejected by the vary person we have fallen in love with. But the love from another person doesn´t make us more beautiful, doesn´t it? It is that feeling inside, which we have, when we believe that we are loved, that makes us somehow look more beautiful, more self assured, more radiant. It therefore has nothing to do with that other person, but all to do with how we perceive something and how we internally translate this awareness with our feelings. It is said, that our subconscious mind cannot distinguish between something experienced in reality or something imagined. What a powerful knowledge that is. That means, we are in control of all our experiences and as a matter of fact our reality too.
It is not what happens to us, but it is that what we make it to mean. For instance. You have an appointment with a friend at 7 o´clock in the evening to go to the movies. It is already 7.30pm and the friend still hasn´t arrived. You start thinking he/she always does that to me. He/she doesn´t value me, because if she/he would value me then he/she would be on time, wouldn´t they? But nothing could be further from the truth. I have had a friend, who would always arrive late and watching him leave the house one day, gave me an insight into how disorganized he was and how he operated. There had to be taken care of logging the geese away, an email had to be sent before he went out, the dishes had to be washed up so that he wouldn´t come home to a dirty house, and so it went on. Meaning that he could never leave on time, he was simply disorganized and couldn´t prioritize. Did all of that have anything to do with me? Of course not. It was up to me to decide how I would let his late arrival effect me, my wellbeing for that evening and my feelings about myself. Knowing that he was disorganized, left me free to make different arrangements, like if you are late then I will go on without you and we will meet at the cinema. That way, I was less dependent on his arrival and he would not be upset if I wasn´t at the appointed meeting place.
So much of how we perceive ourselves, we make dependent on others. We always look for outside validation, without actually realizing that the outside has nothing to do with how we feel inside. It is our interpretation of the outside world, that has everything to do with how we feel inside, and our feelings are our barometer of our wellbeing.
When we were children we had a much greater relationship to our feelings. We would always follow what made us feel good, and avoid that which did not feel good. However, when we are adults that feeling suddenly becomes our enemy, not our friend. How often do you hear people say, my feeling tells me such and such, but my mind tells me to investigate the situation. How often people even get ridiculed, when they are inclined to follow their feelings, rather than their logical mind. Our feelings are our connection to our Higher Self, our Soul Self. Our feelings tell us instantly if something is in line with our values and purpose in life. Our feelings never lie. If we oppose our feelings, we will always end up regretting it, as it will be against our nature, that part which is truly ours and not a part of some other individual. So if you want to live true to yourself, the first thing to do is to honour your feelings and learn
Publisher: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG
Text: Christa Graves
Publication Date: 06-27-2012
All Rights Reserved