Where does any fear begin? Is it with a scary movie? A scary experience? Or simply a figment of our imagination? When does a fear start? Why does fear occur? Why does anything happen? What's Sophie-Louise's fear? Well to answer that I will have to tell you her story. Her story begins at birth. March 3rd 1994 and baby girl was born, 6 weeks before she should have. Weighing only 3 pounds and being born early left her in an incubator and her mother was left fighting for her life. Wires and tubes stuck out from her mothers body, it was like a spider had spun a web around her and cocooned her from the outside world. Sophie-Louise recovered quickly but her mother was in a bad way and four days later she past away. The culprit? Well thats easy, it was childbirth. Sophie-Louise was taken home and grew up with just a father around. What could be scary about that? Well I haven't gotten to that part yet. Sophie-Louise had somewhat of a normal life, friends, family, a home but something was missing. She never had a mother figure, nobody to do her pigtails, plat her hair or put her in pretty pink dresses. Her two older sisters Amelia 'Amy' and Chloe were both 25, grown up and out of the house, so even they couldn't protect her from the horrific things she would face. Nor her elder brothers Mason who was 18 or Jonathan 'John' 22, being grown up also meant they were not in the house. Growing up alone with just a father was tough since her father was an alcoholic. People say you are either a happy drunk, sad drunk, angry drunk or violent drunk. Her father well he was both angry and violent. Sophie-Louise faced abuse everyday of her life, since her father was always drinking. Not a day would go past were she wasn't punched, kicked or scratched. She never went to Nursery because her father wouldn't let her out of his sight, but eventually that changed when she started Primary School. For most children, school was a place of hell sent to destroy there childhood yet for her it was heaven. A place were she could escape the troubles of home life and be a normal girl. Even though she was at school most of the day, as soon as she got home the abuse started again. It was like a film stuck on repeat, she couldn't escape it. She feared her father, hated the person he was. She really wanted her mother but she knew that would never happen. Her father never stopped the torment. One day when she got home from school, he took his belt off from around his waist. Once....Twice....Three times the belt was hit across her back, the beating continued, she was beaten so badly she ended up in hospital with three bruised ribs, a black eye and a broken arm. Social Services were soon alerted and she was placed into a foster home. She spent the three years bouncing around from family to family. She didn't have a permanent home, for her families were only temporary. She didn't have anyone to love or care for her, well she did but they never really did care. After another four months in care she was sent back to live with her father since he had been in rehab and supposedly got the help he needed. Things started off okay, her father was nice to her but things didn't stay the same for long. He soon turned his attention to the drink and forgot about being a father all together. He began beating her again, not a day would go buy without her being beaten. She spent a few months with him then when Sophie-Louise turned sixteen her father crossed the line and committed the ultimate sin. She had just had a birthday party and was really tired so headed up to bed. She fell asleep straight away. Her father tiptoed into her room and laid down next to her and slid his grubby hands under the duvet cover. He ran his hands over his daughters leg, like a snake slithering over her body. He ran his hands over her inner thigh then up her night dress. His fingers roamed around her young body then he slid his fingers in her. Then he undid the fly on his trousers and forcefully slid himself inside her. He brutally raped his innocent, beautiful, baby girl. Sophie-Louise was awoken, she stared into her fathers eyes. She didn't see love all she saw was hatred. She tried to break free, but his grip over powered her. After he had his wicked way with her, he whispered in her ear “I love you baby girl”, and an evil smirk grew across his rancid face. He did up his fly and left the room as if nothing had happened. Sick and twisted, he didn't care about his daughters feelings. For the six months he continued to rape her, every night. Each night she would lay in bed and wait for her torment to start again. She could hear the floorboards creak as he came up the stairs. One creak, two creak, three creak, four creak, five creak, six creak, seven creak, eight creak, nine creak, ten creak, eleven creak, twelve creak, thirteen creak and finally the fourteenth creak echoed through the halls. She counted to six in her head and finally her door screech open and there he stood in the doorway, like a mirage sent to hurt her. She stared at his tall silhouette knowing what was to come. She watched as he slithered across her room and sat on her bed. His hands once again roamed her body, she closed her eyes and imaged she was somewhere else, anywhere she didn't care were the place was as long as it wasn't with him. Parish meadows, soon popped into her head. Fields of roses, lavender and daffodils. Birds were singing, the sun was shinning and the oak trees loomed over her. She didn't want to think about her father and what he was doing to her, she needed to think of something happy.
The thought soon flashed out of her mind and her eyes shot open. Staring at her fathers face a small tear escaped her tear duct, her father didn't care about the pain he caused his daughter all he cared about was his sick twisted game. A twisted game of chess and once again he had the check mate. He slid off her and left the room and went back down to the living room. She could hear the television, a Beverly Hills 90210 rerun was on. She realised she was safe to move and ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Throwing her clothes into the clothes basket she jumped into the shower, the burning water scolding her. Grabbing her sponge she scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin bled but she still didn't feel clean. No matter how much or how hard she scrubbed she just didn't feel clean. Putting on clean clothes she went back to her bed and curled up into a small ball and placed the covers over her head. She closed her eyes, trying to block out what happened. She tried to tell people but she just couldn't. She went to school and acted like nothing happened. She just put on a smile and said “im fine” even though she really wasn't. She didn't want people to know about what her father did to her. If she told anyone they would judge her and call her a slut a whore or whatever they could think off. She didn't want to be bullied. She already had trouble with her father she didn't want trouble from anyone else. Home life was already hell, hell at school would drive her insane, and would potentially destroy her. It got easier for her faking a smile at school, nobody suspected anything which is exactly what she wanted. She went through life acting like nothing was wrong, smiling at school and facing abuse at home, it was something no child should have to go through. Tears, fears, pain and anger, she was stuck in a black whole with no escape. She fell into a dark place, she became depressed and one night after her father brutally raped and attacked her she couldn't take any more. She raided the bathroom cabinet and found a tub of pills. Turning the tap on she filled a glass with water, then turned and stared at the bath. She filled it with water and slowly climbed into the bath, picking up her glass she placed it on the edge of the bath and picked up the pills. She stared at them for a brief moment then popped the top off. She swallowed all the pills, she grabbed a razor blade and slit both her wrists. The crimson liquid flowed out of her wrists, sinking into the bath she prepared for death. She stared at the water around her, she just wanted to die and escape the cruel world she was in. She closed her eyes, death was finding its way to her. An hour passed and she awoke in the hospital her siblings surrounding her, she stared at them blankly. Emotions flew through her mind disappointment because she wasn't dead. Anger because of what her father did to her, sorrow because she had hurt her siblings. But mostly she felt numb. For so long she had blocked her emotions out, all her feelings locked in a box and she had thrown away the key. She didn't want the feel, the truth was she was tired of feeling which is exactly why she tried to kill herself. Looking at her siblings she realised how much she hurt them, she didn't mean to hurt anyone she just wanted to escape her father the only way she thought possible. Her sister Chloe said she would look after her, Sophie-Louise smiled and sighed with relief. The next week she was stuck in hospital before she was finally discharged. She went home and packed a bag and moved in with her sister and her sisters fiancé. Her father was arrested and kept in a prison cell, she was free from him for a wile. A week later she went Cranberry Court she stood in the dock and made a statement, about her years of abuse. She looked at her father, she looked into his eyes and realised she didn't have to worry about him any more. Her father was sentenced to fifteen years in prison, she sighed with relief. Finally she was free, free from the pain and torment. She went back to her sisters home and curled up on her bed staring at a photo of her mother. She was now a child without parents, but at least she still had family. She started a new school and made new friends. It was a chance for her to start fresh, have a new life, although her past still haunted her. She was on depression tablets and had to take them everyday. Some days were harder than others but she just pushed on through. She had been through so much in her life, more than other teenagers her age had been through. Most teenagers just had to deal with spots and boyfriends but she had bigger issues she had to deal with.


Publication Date: 11-07-2011

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