Len Kagamine runs down the familiar halls of his high school, turning corner after corner, pushing people out of his way. Five minutes ago during homeroom he got the worst phone call that he has ever received- his twin sister was in a car accident. She had grabbed a ride to school from her best friend, Hatsune Miku. Teal haired, light skinned, beautiful voiced Miku had apparently been caught in a collision that all had started with a drunk driver and a semi-truck. They had found Rin in the passenger side, unconscious. Miku had unfortunately cracked her skull and died on impact.
Hot tears threatened to blur Lens vision, but he blinked them back and kept running until he made it to the front doors. He pushed them open angrily and ran on the pavement, his feet making loud stomping sounds behind him. But he couldn't hear them. He couldn't hear the shouts of teachers and classmates yelling at him. He couldn't hear the sound of his own ragged breathing. All he could hear was Rins perfect, high pitched voice.
"I'm catching a ride with Miku today, go on to school without me, Len. I'll be okay. Don't worry about me."
Those were her exact words this morning, right after Len told her that she should walk to school with him- like they always did. He allowed her to go, told himself to loosen up. Now he knows he should have made her walk with him. People are reckless when driving. Hell, people are reckless no matter what they are doing. Len was supposed to protect Rin. He was supposed to always be by her side, keeping her safe from the other lunatics who inhabit this planet. His parents had failed to protect them. They had both perished in a car accident years ago. He had promised himself and Rin that he would always protect her, no matter what. Rin is all he has left.
"Don't worry, Rinny. I will always be by your side, keeping you safe. Nothing and nobody will ever take you from me. I promise."
Those were his exact words to her, a week after their parents had died. She had been afraid that she was going to die, just like their parents had. She may be only seconds older than him, but she is more naive. More afraid. More vulnerable.
Len clenches his jaw and breaths heavily through his nostrils, his throat burning with every breath he takes.
"I'll be okay. Don't worry about me. Love you, Len. See you at school."
Her voice rings in his ears, and he wills his legs to go faster, all the way to the hospital. He isn't that far. Again, tears try to spring out of his eyes and fall down his eyelashes, but he uses his fist to push them away, and keeps running.
He has to get to her.
He has to keep her safe.
She has to live.
It was a promise.
((A/n: Well..... feels. A lot of them. And more to come. This is only the first chapter, but I will write more very soon. Leave reviews, and keep reading. Because it only gets better from here.
Disclaimer: I do not own Rin and Len Kagamine, nor do I own Vocaloid. I just enjoy using them in my fanfictions~))
Len reaches the hospital and pushes through the doors, running into the hospital and causing nurses and patients to stare at him. His messy hair, sweaty face, rumpled clothing, and ragged, heavy breathing make everyone direct their attention to him. He spins around, looking this way and that.
"M-my..... my.... s-sister...... R-r-rin...... M-my sister.....!" He manages to say while gasping for breath. His legs feel wobbly, and he yearns greatly for something to drink, but he keeps asking for his sister until a male doctor comes up to him.
"May I ask who your sister is, sir?" He says, his voice deep, yet soft and soothing. Len places his hands on his knees and gulps a few deep breaths of air before looking up at the doctor.
"Rin. R-rin..... Kagamine. She was.... she was in a c-car accident...." Now Lens voice becomes wobbly, as well as his legs. His hands start to shake, and tears start to flood his eyes again. Len blinks them away quickly, not daring to cry yet.
Rinny was in a car accident.
He couldn't save her.
Len bites his lower lip, hard, when more tears threaten to fall.
"Please give me one moment." The doctor says, starting to turn around. Len leaps up and grabs the doctors white lab coat before he gets too far away. "No! Not one moment, I need to see her now! Please, I need to see her now!" Len screams. Two nurses run over to pull the screaming boy away from the tall, dark haired doctor. He lets his legs fall out from beneath him, too tired to keep himself up. The nurses keep firm grips on his arms, and he screams until the doctor turns a corner and vanishes. Len lets his entire body go loose, and the nurses drop him. He sits on the floor, the palms of his hands pressed to his eyes. He must not cry. Not yet. Rin isn't dead yet. Just hurt.
He hasn't failed yet.
He hasn't broken the promise yet.
She hasn't died yet.
And she wont die.
Len looks up, a new fire burning inside of him. There are no more tears he has to fight back. Only a hot, burning need to keep Rin alive. He stands up, his fists clenched at his sides. He marches up to the front desk, and eyes the nurse who stands there.
"Rin Kagamine. What room is she in?" He says, his voice hard.
"And who are you?" She asks. Len slams his hand on the desk.
"I am her twin brother, Len Kagamine. Now, I need to know what room she is in." Len says, becoming more and more impatient.
"Kagamine..... oh. I see. I will be right back." She turns around and goes through a door behind the desk, leaving Len without any information what so ever. Len growls, glaring at the spot where the lady was standing.
"I need to see Rin now, god dammit." He mutters under his breath. The nurse comes back, along with the dark haired doctor that had talked to him not even ten minutes ago- the one who had just simply walked away.
"Len. I am afraid to inform you that your sister is in a deep coma. We have placed her in the ICU, and we don't know for sure whether or not she will make it out of this alive. She took a lot of damage to her head, and if she does come out of this alive, she may not ever be the same." The doctor says in a soft voice. Len narrows his eyes.
"I don't care. I want to see her. I need to see her. Now." Len says once more. The doctor nods curtly after a moments hesitation and steps out from behind the desk. "Follow me." He says, then turns on his heel and starts walking down the hall. Len follows him, his stomach tying in knots.
She is still alive.
"R-rinny?" Len walks into the hospital room the moment that the tall, dark haired doctor opens the door. He runs over to her bed and stare at her. Her blond hair is limp and lifeless, without even a little bit of bounce. She is no longer wearing her white, poofy bow, and her face looks slack and pale. Len's eyes trail down to her arms, folded on her stomach on top of the thin bed sheet. Her arms look frail. Len's eyes find their way back up to his beloved sisters face. Where her rosy cheeks used to reside are pasty colored cheeks. Her eyes are closed, and they look sunken back into her skull. Rin's lips, which are usually red and shiny with her favorite orange flavored lip gloss, are thin and pursed in a small frown. Len's breath catches in his throat, and he slowly reaches out to grab one of her hands.
The moment his warm hand touches her, it jerks away. Len shivers. Rin's hands are cold to the touch; like that of a dead persons. Len closes his eyes and reaches forward once more. This time, he ignores the clammy feeling of her hand, and instead concentrates on the warmth of his own hand. He breaths in through his nose, out through his mouth, and then opens his eyes.
"Rin......ny......" He says, the single word coming out slower than expected. He slides his fingers in between her's, pressing his sweaty palm against her cold one. His other hand cups the side of his face. Using his thumb, he brushes some of her hair away from her eyes, and smiles weakly.
"It'll be okay, Rin. I promise. I will keep you safe. I always have, and always will. I promise." Len says softly. The only response he receives from his golden twin is her shallow, raspy breathing. He sighs, kisses her forehead, then settles into the chair near her bed.
"I'm not leaving you, Rinny."
Len awakes to his cell phone buzzing in his pocket. He jumps slightly, still half asleep. Wiping drool from the side of his mouth, he grabs his cell from his pocket.
"H-hello?" Len's voice sounds thick. He yawns, stretching out his free arm.
"Len? Len, where are you?" Len's best friend, Kaito, says, his deep voice sounding alarmed.
"I'm at the hospital with Rin.... what time is it?" Len says, leaning back in the chair and pulling back the curtain on the window. It's a bit dim outside, but the sun hasn't fully set.
"It's about 6:30 p.m. Is Rin okay? I don't know if you heard yet but Miku..... M-miku didn't...." Len heard Kaito sniff on the other side of the phone. Miku was Kaito's lover. They have been together all four years of high school, plus the two years they spent in middle school.
"Well, she's in a coma, and we don't know if she'll..... yeah. Hey man, I am so sorry about your loss. Are they having a funeral?" Len asks awkwardly, not sure how to comfort his friend.
"Yeah, they are. In a couple of days, after everything is ready. You think you could.... you could possibly make it? To the funeral, I mean." Kaito asks.
"Of course I will. Hey, I'm about to go home, I can't stay here over night. I'll talk to you later though?" Len says.
"Yes. Right. I'll.... talk to you later. Goodbye, Len." Kaito says, hanging up. Len snaps his phone shut and drops it back into his pocket. He stands up and walks over to his resting sister.
"I have to go for now, Rin. I'll come back tomorrow though, I promise. I love you." He kisses Rin's hand, then walks out of the room.
(A/N: Is it ony me, or was this chapter a little lame? I mean, yeah, it was okay. Kind of feely. But not much action or anything. Don't worry though, guys. I have feels and stuff coming up in the next chapter. *grins* Leave reviews, please! And keep reading~!)
Len walks into his small, warm, and cozy house. He closes the door behind him and looks around. He lets his hand linger on the doorknob. This morning, Rin's warm touch had graced this doorknob just before she left. Before she got into Miku's car. Before she.....
Len looks at the ground and squeezes his eyes shut, his grip tightening on the doorknob. He bites his tongue and pulls away from the door, walking down the front hall and into the kitchen. He sits down in his chair at the table. The oak table set has only four chairs, but he and Rin used only two of them; Rin usually sat right across from him. He stares at the empty space in front of him. Rin should be there, muttering under her breath while scribbling out answers to her math homework. Angrily, Len pushes back his chair and stands up. He stomps into the living room, falls onto the couch, and pulls out his pony tail. He shakes his hair loose and it falls out around his face. Sighing, he bends over and unties his shoes, yanks them off, and throws them across the room. Len falls back onto the couch, and his phone rings.
"Yo." He says, sighing a little.
"Len. Hey, it's me. Can I come over? I'm not doing well on my own." Kaito's voice, sounding a little shaky, says. Len runs his free hand through his hair and shrugs.
"Eh..... I guess so." Len replies.
"Great. I'll be over in about fifteen minutes." Kaito says. He hangs up. Len lies down and looks up at the ceiling. Thunder roars loudly outside, and rain starts pounding on the roof. Len stands up and walks upstairs and into his sisters room. As soon as he steps in, his heart leaps into his throat. He lurches forward and falls onto his knees, holding his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut, he takes deep breaths, but that only makes him feel worse. With each breath he takes he gets a whiff of orange peels and vanilla- the smell of Rin's favorite perfume. Len uses one of his hands to grab the door frame and lift himself up, his other hand clutching his chest. He looks around. His sisters bed is made, although it looks like it was made in a rush. There is an orange peel on her desk, and pencils and notebooks are scattered everywhere, with failed lyrics to new songs she had been trying to write. He walks over to her bed and picks up her blanket. He brings it to his face and buries his nose in it, taking deep breaths. He closes his eyes and savors the smell of Rin, matching the feel and smell of the blanket to the faint memory of Rin's warm hugs. Warm tears flood into Lens eyes, but yet again he blinks them back.
"No crying, Len. Not yet. You don't have a reason. You aren't going to lose Rin." Len says aloud to himself, his voice muffled slightly by the soft blanket. He lies the blanket back on Rins bed and exits the room. He walks back down the hall and into the living room, sitting down and turning on the TV.
Len hears a knock at the door about ten minutes later, and jumps up to answer it.
"Hey, Kaito, come in." Len says, stepping out of the way. The tall, dark blue haired man walks in. His white t-shirt is rumpled, and his blue jeans have oil stains on them. Kaito sticks his thumbs in his pockets and rocks back onto his heels.
"Got any beer?" He says. His voice sounds weak, and his eyes are red. He must have been crying all day. Len closes the door and puts his hands behind his head.
"Yeah. But I don't think that's what you need. Drinking away your pain wont do anything. Wanna talk?" Len asks. Kaito gives Len a small laugh and rubs his chin. He looks up at the ceiling and shakes his head.
"Nah. I would rather drink myself into nonexistence. Life without Miku is.... impossible. Her sweet, high pitched voice.... listening to her sing and laugh.... her pig tails....." Kaito's eyes well up with tears, and he presses his hands to his eyes. "I.... I m-miss her so m-much...." Kaito's shoulders start to shake, and Len bites his lip. He walks over to his grieving friend and places a hand on his shoulder.
"On second thought.... I think we could use some beer. But only one. And some video games?" Len says, hoping to encourage Kaito a little. Hoping to get his mind off of Miku.
"Yes.... please...." Kaito says, removing his hands from his face.
"Alright. Go seat yourself in the living room, and I'll get the drinks." Kaito walks into the living room, and Len goes the opposite way, into the kitchen.
"Well.... let's get this party started." Len mutters to himself, grabbing an entire box of beers and walking into the living room, joining Kaito on the couch.
(A/N: Before I do anything, I just want to say- NO. NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN KAITO AND LEN. I DO NOT SHIP THAT. o-o They are just gonna get themselves into a wee bit of trouble ^.^ Please leave reviews, and keep reading~!
Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid Len or Kaito, I just like using them in my fanfictions. Along with the other Vocaloids.)
"Pass me another beer, would you?"
Kaito was already on his fifth beer. Only half an hour had passed since his first beer. Len had only finished one so far.
"Are you sure? I think you should wait a bit." Len suggests, staring at the television screen in front of him and he quickly tapped the buttons on his video game controller. He cursed under his breath as the foe he was trying to defeat revived itself. Kaito paused the game.
"Pass me. Another. Beer. Please." Kaito says. Len sighs and passed him a can of beer. Kaito popped it open, took a sip, then resumed the video game. Len grabbed another beer as well, opened it, and took a very small sip. Kaito chuckles and shakes his head, his eyes still glued to the screen.
"Drink it like a man, Len." Kaito tells Len. Rolling his eyes, Len picks up the can and takes a swig of the drink. Kaito sighs and turns off the game. "I'm going to have to help you get drunk, aren't I?" Kaito says. Len jerks away from Kaito a little.
"Eh.... no...? I don't want to be drunk." Len says. Kaito's eyes are bloodshot, and he is obviously a little drunk. A wicked grin spreads across Kaito's face.
"Incorrect. Drink this. Now. The whole thing." Kaito says, handing Len a full can of beer. Len shakes his head.
"No, dude. I don't want it." Len insists. Kaito's grin falters.
"Yes, you do." He says through clenched teeth. Hoping to stay away from conflict, Len takes the can from his friends hand and drinks the entire thing, then tosses the empty can aside.
"There. I did it." Len feels himself slowly becoming a little tipsy. His tongue feels a bit heavier in his mouth, and he is a little dizzy. Kaito passes Len another can.
"Drink it." He says. Len, sighing again, takes the beer.
"This is not going to end well..." Len mutters under his breath as he brings the open can to his parted lips.
"I.... I gotta get o-out of here.... bye maaaaan." Kaito says, his words coming out slurred. About an hour has passed, and both Len and Kaito are very drunk. Kaito staggers towards the door and tries to grab the handle. He misses and laughs. Len stands behind him, his legs a little wobbly. He leans against the wall and laughs lightly.
"N-need a little heeeelp?" Len's voice sounds slightly raspy, but not as slurred as Kaito's. Kaito shakes his head a few times.
"I got this..." Kaito says. He twists the doorknob and walks out into the night, the door slamming behind him. Len stares at the door for a few minutes, then waves weakly.
"Bye." He walks upstairs into his bedroom, tripping over his own feet multiple times.
"Stupid snakes.... who leaves snakes on the stairs?" Len mutters to himself about the snakes he is seeing in his drunken state. He walks into his room and collapses onto his bed.
"Riiiiiiiiin. Get your.... get your ass in here...." Len yells. He starts coughing and rolls over onto his stomach. Then, he remembers. Rin isn't here.
"I hate you, Rin. Why would you l-leave me? To go t-to sleep.... forever.... I neeeeed you.... You are my best friend...." Len yells out loud.
"I hate you! Just die already! I hate you! I hate you and your beautiful smile, and your hair that falls to your shoulders in a perfect light wave, and your addicting scent of oranges and vanilla, and y-your addiction to romance no-novels...." Len brings his hands up to his face and starts to sob.
The first tears he has cried since his sisters accident.
He rolls over onto his side, pulls his knees up to his chest, and cries. The sobs come out in long, low moaning sounds. Tears fall onto his pillow and shirt, but he ignores them.
"I..... I love you Rin. B-but..... in the unnatural way..... I don't hate you..... I was just kidding. I love you, Rinnnn! Where are you?! I have fallen in love with you and you can't leaaaave me!" Len screams through his tears. He has never voiced his feelings for Rin to anyone, not even himself. He always shoved them to the back of his mind, ignored them. Told himself they were wrong.
But now he admits his feelings for Rin.
He knows how he feels.
And it took eight beers to make him face the facts.
(A/N: Hehehe..... I had fun writing this. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. OH and I have an idea for the ending of this fanfiction that you guys are gonna love. Anyhow, keep reading, and PLEAAAAAASE write reviews!!! They keep me writing!!)
The next morning, Len wakes up and runs to the bathroom. Quickly lifting the lid on the toilet, Len kneels onto the floor and vomits repeatedly. Once he is finished, he flushes, then sits down, his back to the wall. He puts his face in his hands.
"Idiot...." He mutters to himself. He sighs heavily, and then stands up, exiting the bathroom. He walks downstairs and into the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing a can of ginger ale. He pops it open and takes a sip, walking over to the table and sitting down. Staring blankly in front of him, he shakes his head.
"What the Hell.... Len, what have you gotten yourself into?" He says aloud to himself, referring to the things he admitted last night. He remembers everything clearly. Getting drunk with Kaito. Kaito leaving. Going upstairs. Breaking down. Len sighs and closes his eyes.
"Oh Rin.... I wish you were here...." He whispers.
A moment later, he hears his phone ringing in the other room. Leaving his ginger ale on the table, he gets up and shuffles to the living room. He moves a couple of pillows and finds his phone, screen glowing. He picks it up and answers it.
"Hello?" Len says, running his free hand through his hair.
"Len? Len is that you?" Luka's clear, beautiful voice rings out on the other end, a light tremor in it. Len cocks his head to one side.
"Yeah, it's me. What's wrong?" He asks, his eyebrows knitting together in curiousity and confusion.
"It's Kaito, Len..... He....." Her voice gets really soft, and she speaks in a whisper. "He committed suicide." A shiver goes through Len's body, and he feels goosebumps popping up all over his arms.
"What?" Len asks in disbelief. "How?" He bites his lip and shakes his head.
"He put a gun in his mouth and.... he.... he left a suicide note...." Luka started reading it out loud to Len.
Dear Friends and Family,
I am very sorry. I took the cowards way out.
But I cannot stand to live on this planet anymore.
I can't be without Miku.
It was this, or drink myself to the grave.
I figured this would be quicker. I love all of you.
I'll see you on the other side.
Len mouths the word "No" to himself.
"I have to go.... his burial will be on the same day as Miku's.... I just figured that I should tell you." Luka says. Her voice is thick and full of tears. She hangs up, and Len drops his phone. Tears fill his eyes, and he wipes them away.
"Why the hell does everyone keep dying?! Why a I losing everyone I love?!" Len screams to the Heavens, his hands balled in fists and his teeth clenched. He turns and punches a wall. He punches once, twice, three times with both fists. Both of his fists are now ripped up and bleeding, but he continues punching. If he stops, he might just lose his sanity.
He scream with pain, rage, and sorrow.
"Rin better not die too! Or I might just end up like Kaito!"
Ehehe.... sorry for the feels XD Don't worry, though. The end is coming soon, (in about two or three chapters), and I plan to have an amazing ending. So no need to fret.... maybe. Leave reviews, download, and fave ^-^ Keep reading and being awesome!)
Len woke up screaming. Tearing at the bed sheets, he jumped out of bed. He looked around and gained control of himself. Running his fingers through his hand, he took a deep breath and remembered everything that happened yesterday. Right after Luka had called, he took his old paint can bag out of the closet and went down town.
Then, he made art.
He used to do this frequently. Then, Rin found out about his bad boy side, and she freaked out. Len gave everything up- the drugs, the fighting, and the graffiti. But yesterday, something inside of him snapped. So he had to go and find a way to relax.
Len looks down at his hands and sighs. They have ink all over them. Walking to the bathroom, he pulls his shirt off and throws it on the floor.
"It's a wonder I didn't get caught...." He mutters, looking at himself in the mirror. There are ink smudges on his face and neck, as well. Len gets a wash cloth and puts it under the water, letting it become wet. Then he cleans himself up. He walks back to his bedroom and pulls on a clean white t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. Then, he grabs a hair tie and pulls his hair up into it's usual messy pony tail. He glances at the clock and nods.
"It's time to visit Rinny."
Len jogs downstairs, grabs a cold piece of pizza out of the fridge, slips on his sneakers, and walks out the door. He eats the pizza as he walks down the street.
Passing the park, he glances over at a bench. A young couple sits on it, holding hands and teasing each other. Len feels his eyes becoming damp, and quickly looks away. Every couple or pair of siblings he sees reminds him of Rin. Her high pitched giggle. Her light touch. He bright smile. Her stupid jokes. Her violent side.
Len starts running to the hospital, eager to get to his sister. After about five minutes of running at full speed, Len makes it to the front doors of the hospital. His legs burning, he goes inside and walks to the counter.
"Rin.... R-rin Kagamine?" He asks, trying desperately to breath. The lady behind the desk finishes whatever she is typing, then looks up at him and sighs, as though his question is asking too much and she doesn't have time for him.
"She isn't able to have visitors right now. Please come back later." Her voice is nasally, and it irritates Len. He feels himself becoming angry.
"I will see her. Now." Len says. Worry for Rin bubbles up inside of him, and he finds it is becoming increasingly difficult to swallow. The tall, dark haired doctor that Len talked to just the other day appears from behind the woman.
"Yes, let the boy go." He says. He gives Len a sympathetic look, and Len's heart nearly leaps out of his chest. The doctor leads Len back to Rins room, and as soon as Len walks in, he senses that something is wrong. Rin's skin looks pastier than before, and Len can hear her ragged breathing. Len looks up at the doctor.
"Her vitals are falling. We are going to take her off of the breather tomorrow and if she can't breath on her own..." The man's words trail off. Len's heartbeat speeds up.
"No.... no.... You can't do that!" Goosebumps break out all over Len's skin, and he shivers. Tears gather in his eyes, but he doesn't even notice his vision becoming blurry. The doctor sighs.
"We have no choice." He says in a soft voice meant for dealing with children. Len growls.
"Get. Out." The doctor steps out of the doorway and Len closes the door. Then, he walks over to Rin and grabs her hand. It's freezing.
Her chest moves up and down mechanically, and Len bites his lip.
"I love you, Rin..."
I'm losing you, Rin.
Two more chapters, guys. Are you ready for this? Cx I'm not. Keep reading, fave, and leave reviews!!)
Len has been in the hospital room all day. Nurses and doctors come in and out to check on Rin and offer Len a kind word or two every hour. Len mumbles responses, barely aware of anything but the heavy feeling in his chest.
He is losing Rin and there is nothing he can do about it.
He can't save her.
He can't make her better.
And it is tearing him apart.
Len paces back and forth at the foot of Rin's bed. Every so often, he glances at Rin. She doesn't change. She has dark circles around her eyes. Her skin is pale, almost a yellowish color. Her lips are chapped and thin. Her hair lies pasted to her skull, looking limp and lifeless- just like Rin herself.
"Hey, Rin. Hang in there, okay? It'll all be okay." Len says, assuring himself more than his comatose twin. He takes a deep breath and goes back to pacing.
"Do you want a banana for breakfast? Or.... how about a banana?"
Len hears Rin's words echo in his head. The words she spoke just an hour before she got in the crash. An hour before she slipped from Len's fingers.
Len stops pacing, frozen in the spot he stands in. His arms are crossed across his chest, and his face is pulled into a look of grief. Only Rin can save herself now. Without thinking, Len runs over to Rin's bedside and grabs her hand, squeezing it gently but firmly.
"Rin. Rinny I know you are in there. I know you are. You have always been someone to fight. Fight for everything. And now, you are in the middle of the biggest battle you will ever have to fight. The fight for your life. And only you can fight this battle. Nobody can help you. So I need you, please, for me Rinny, I need you to fight like Hell. I need you to summon all the strength you have and fight. I can't live without you. I can't." Len bites his lip to keep the tears from falling. He has to be strong, too. For Rin. So she can fight.
Rin's doctor walks in. The tall, dark haired doctor. His name, Len learned earlier, is Dr. Rossen. He has a light touch, and really cares deeply for his patients.
"Len, you should sit down." He says in a soft voice. Len obeys, and goes to sit in the arm chair he fell asleep in only a few days earlier. He looks up at Dr. Rossen, an expression of curiosity crossing his face.
"What is it?" Len asks.
"Well, you see, you have a choice. We can keep Rin on the breather for another five days. But... it may be very bad for her. She might start to depend fully on the breather. And not be able to breath for herself.... ever. Which would result in certain death one way or another. But if we take her off tomorrow, there is a chance she may breath by herself. Yes, it is a slight chance. Very slim. I hate to be so blunt, but I must. But.... I just wanted to let you know that you have a choice." Dr. Rossen tells Len, his voice low but fast paced.
"So.... if you take her off tomorrow.... she might breath? But if she doesn't, she will die? And if we keep her on the breather.... we give her five more days to wake up.... but if she doesn't wake up.... she dies for sure?" Len asks, his voice shaking slightly.
Dr. Rossen nods solemnly. Len looks up at the ceiling and sighs.
"How long do I have to consider my decision?" Len asks.
"Until tomorrow. And we will allow you to stay the night." Dr. Rossen tells Len. Len nods and looks back at the doctor.
"Okay. Let me sleep on it, then." He says. With a small nod, the doctor turns and leaves the room.
There is a win and a lose in each situation.... but situation should I put my hope in?
So..... the next chapter is going to be the end. I don't think I am ready, guys. Are you? I mean, really. This is.... yeah. My first BR fic.... ending. I hope you guys have been enjoying this ride as much as I have. So many feels, though. *sighs* Well.... thanks for reading. Hope to hear from you in the last chapter ^.^)
It's mid day, and Len sits in the chair, drinking a cup of coffee. He didn't sleep at all last night. He sat in the chair next to Rin's bed and thought hard about everything.
What would Rin do if the roles were switched?
He keeps asking himself the same question over and over again. He takes a sip of his coffee and glances over at Rin. She hasn't moved. Nothing about her has changed. She has showed no signs of recovery. Len looks back at the floor, the cup of coffee still resting against his lips.
Would she let me go? Probably.
Len sighs. Rin would let him go. She would want to end his suffering. She is selfless and caring. She would miss him, yeah. But she would let him go.
He looks back at Rin and stares at her, he eyes taking in everything about her. Her blond hair that now looks like a pale yellow color. Like yellowing pages in an old book. Her cheeks are hollow, and no blush graces them. Her mouth is slack and in one straight, thin line. Her body looks small, frail, and shriveled up. Like that of an old, dying woman. Len knows he should let her go. He knows she would be better off.... in a better place.
Dr. Rossen walks in and pulls a chair up. He sits across from Len and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. Finally, he speaks.
"Len.... I am afraid it is time to make a choice." He says, looking Len directly in the eyes. Uncomfortable, Len looks away from the doctors stare.
"I.... I don't...." Len wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sighs. "I don't know." He whispers, his voice cracking slightly. Dr. Rossen nods, as though he can relate to everything Len is going through.
"I know it's difficult. Trust me. I have seen a lot of people break down at this point and not know what to do. But you are strong, Len. You wont break down, right? You can make a choice. And it will be the right choice." Dr. Rossen says. His voice is soft but firm, and gives Len the slightest bit of courage.
"Can I have about ten more minutes?" Len asks. His voice wavers slightly.
"Yes.... but that's all. We can't stretch this out any farther. I believe in you, Len." The doctor stands up and leaves the room. Len walks over to his sisters bed and tucks her hair behind her ear. Then, he leans down and kisses her on the lips gently. Her lips are cold and clammy against Len's warm, soft lips. Len pulls away and stares down at Rin.
"I have to make a choice. And... I think I am going to have to let go.... l-let go of you Rin. I w-wanted you to fight but.... go be with.... go be with mom and... d-dad.... I love you, Rin.... More than just a sister. I know that's wrong, but I... I can't help it. And I figured I should say it before they.... b-before they..." Len can't finish his sentence. He is trying to fight back tears, but he finds it to be difficult. Every time he blinks them away, they just come back in seconds. He bites his lip, hard, and turns away. Closing his eyes, he tilts his head up and takes a deep breath, waiting for Dr. Rossen to re-enter the room.
Dr. Rossen walks in. Len stands at the foor of Rin's bed, his eyes closed, his hands shoved into his pockets, and tears clinging to his long eye lashes.
"Have you made your decision?" Dr. Rossen asks, even though he already knows the answer. Len nods, his eyes still closed.
"Yeah. I'm going to... let her go. You can unplug her." Len says. His voice gets caught in his throat and he bites his lower lip again. He opens his eyes and looks at Dr. Rossen. He nods again, then walks straight past him and out of the room. He knows what Dr. Rossen is about to do, and he doesn't want to be there when Rin takes her final breaths. Dr.Rossen told Len yesterday that he was positive that Rin would not breath. Len knew he was right. Rin was too far gone. Len walks down the hall, looking down at the ground. His hands are shoved into his jacket pockets. Len listens to the noises around his as he walks, trying to push out the thought of his sister lying dead in a casket. His beautiful Rin. Dead.
I couldn't protect her.
I couldn't keep her away from death.
I have failed.
I broke my promise.
Len clenches his hands into fists inside his pockets and digs his nails into his palms and bites his tongue, walking faster. He hears a little girl run past him, laughing. Len thinks of Rin's laugh and tears flood his vision.
That's when he hears it.
A high pitched voice behind him, pure and sweet. It sounds a little crackly and soft. But he hears it nonetheless.
"Len? L-len? I fought. I fought for you."
Len turns around, not breathing. At first, he thinks he is just imagining things. But there stands Rin, still in a nightgown. Dr.Rossen stands behind her, a look of astonishment plastered across his face.
"I love you too, Len."
And that us when falls to his knees and sobs the tears that he has tried to hold back for so long.
He kept her alive. He kept his promise. Rin is alive.
(A/N: GUYS IT'S OVER AND I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS!!! I AM CRYING! So, what did you think of the ending? Leave reviews, fave, share, read again, idc just..... *cries a river* Just keep being awesome, guys. And don't forget to check out some of my other works. TT_TT)
Text: Reylinn Sutcliff
Editing/Proofreading: Erik Powers
Publication Date: 08-15-2015
All Rights Reserved
Dedicated to Raven Henry- the biggest Rin and Len Kagamine fan I have ever met.