SIR THOMAS FLEMMING
February 25, 1869
I had never been very fond of this family gatherings at our country home in Essex, I feel I do not belong here with all this nonsense about parties and social events. Is also very frivolous, I had never been a frivolous man, I rather use my time in some other way but as part of this family one most take part in such things. I hope that very soon everything would change for myself, I shall ask you a very important question as soon as I go back to London and we get together again. I feel is about time I do so for is the correct time for such question and I pray that your answer would be the one that would change our lives forever. One thing I would like to make clear is that you would follow your heart and I hope you will do that in this important matter.
This morning I took a swim at the lake, I spend so many hours lost that mother thought I had gone back to London without informing them but I would never do such thing, I think is my duty to tell them I am leaving if I am doing so, don’t you think?. Father is very happy about our courtship and that makes me smile in delight, I think he understands me better than anyone else in this household, he is not the frivolous type and I do not understand how his marriage to mother had lasted so many years, I think he gave up on her a long time ago for he knows she would never change her ways. After supper I turned to my room to write this letter to you so I can send off tomorrow morning. You are probably tire of my letters, if you are say so, I would never want to bore you but inside my heart I feel you truly enjoy my words for your replies are always fast and that makes me see you miss me too.
If you are not up to attending James’s wedding I would understand but if at this moment you feel strong enough I would escort you and never leave your side during the ceremony and festivities. Tell me he has left your heart, if he still there I would persist until your affections are all mine for I feel love can conquer anything at all. Maybe I had never been to war or fight a battle like James but that does not make me weak and I know that if I had to fight courage would be by my side, I hate wars and I think they are indeed a waste of time, money and lives. I do realize that sometimes a battle is needed but I do not favor ongoing wars, maybe is that I am a peaceful man. Sometimes I feel that women never found me interested because I was not a man of uniform like James, I lacked the charm. My only hope is that you will find me charming enough and that you love our times together as much as I do.
It was very nice of Charlotte to take you in her house, she is a kind person and you had been good friends for a very long time. The Harrisons loved you as a daughter but I know you did not want to impose any more on them but believe me they do miss you terribly for I had heard them taking to my parents of how much they miss you at their home, you are the daughter they never had. I must tell you Charlotte is a prime example of how good love endures, she has been a widow for a long time and had never accepted the courting of another man, many people know how in love she was with Captain Wellington, their marriage was indeed a strong one even though they never had children. I send my regards to her, would you make sure she receives them?.
I would be back in a week for father has required me to stay longer to help him with some paper work and the translation of some important documents, I count the days to see you again. I wanted to get back sooner but he needs my assistance and is my duty to give it to him but more than that I love my father dearly for he had always seen clearly who I was and never ever push me to be like James, for that I am grateful.
I carry you in my heart, I think of you too much;
Publication Date: 03-16-2012
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