Epicure Manicure & The Nail Biter

Whitney bought a bonnet
Cause he sings too many sonnets
And it protects her from hornets
That were paid for by his wallet
And as you're chased over balcony
Only to be saved by an awning
you'll land right on your feet
Under the canopy of morning
Then you'll buzz his door again
And ask for your belongings


Oh, reminiscent son
Oh, oneiric daughter
I hemorrhage under your red wound
Once in a blue moon I turn purple

With anxious pangs in pituitary gland
as the change sieves through the hole burned in his hand clangs to the ground cleaned of copper
in translucent bags so you know we recycle

As your fingers start to furrow
They demarcate blood trails I can follow
On scathing sea
You're so wet you cauterize me

Hey, Fever

We've had a break up
In make up town
Spanish ship galleon
A flash in my mouth
Spreads the back of my
Head like wings of a falcon
You rode a coin redemption stallion
But I've got a silver cross medallion
That should be hanging between your
Breast, the blood of Christ and Eucharist
Even in the south and the south west
All cows still eat grass


It has been so cold
When I got a chimney
I gave it the flue


The children are laughing a window away
You sold your daughter for a quarter
and compensation pay
They chuckle through rock throws that won't stay at bay
And here we are holding hands walking away

With the vigor of vinegar
You course through my veins
I'll brush away your bangs
To satiate my stomach pangs
So maudlin, and I'm kissing porcelain

Caught in the undertow
Are you sure we're at shore
There's a wide open ocean
Free of closure and full of fruition
Despite inclement condition
I would ask you but I don't need your permission

Trojan Horse

When I heard about your second daughter
I got sarcastic like a murder of crows
Maybe it was too much information
Or we didn't exchange our proper "hello"s
Either way, you're on the bad side of thirty
And I'm still a little too thirsty
For your tears to satiate me

Eunuch Electorate

I've got a little lever
That will alleviate all the pressure
Let's hang Chad on a brand new measure
My teeth are chattering and
I'm feeling a little indentured

You prop me up with my propositions
I am abstinent and full of superstitions
That's a lot of food in empty kitchens
One will balance the budget with infomercials
And the other with 8 years of military missions

I've got a little redistribution
Red fish, blue fish
You've got no choice when you
only lure two fish
Punch a ballot for your piece of mind
Hang another banner and alert us of your kind
I can't see the hair on your palms
Masturbations made us blind


I've got my crush
in a bindle
she's barefoot
because I couldn't fit her sandals
in the habit and she'll be having none of that
she'll be having none of that

Alprazolam Traipsed

An insect I didn't know
was clacking his antenna
beside my window
Pictures are painted
with paw prints on wood floor
that's the cat's meow

Eight legs
two goblin eyes
Four legs
million monster eyes

When your cat crawls to bed
make sure it isn't an arachnid

Cider Inside Her

Dormant darling doormat
Sit inside my belly
Heartburn's welling in my throat
And God's up for a felony

She's got slings and arrows
Together we took down Goliath
With the cider inside her
Like Shrinky Dinks and Play Dough
Dormant darling doormat
Let's go double-dutch
When they fill in these walls
We'll both be here

The Bar

Yeah, you're a little young for me
But Jesus Christ, you're 23
Have another lime
This Patron pays for its self effacing
The salt on my hand is masticating
You're missing your prime and depreciating
Maybe it's a matter of litigation
Or I have a woman's intuition
Every good story has a happy ending
You'll never be a lawyer and I'd rather be masturbating


From the scorched earth
that used to be this pigeon's perch
I made a minuscule dirtbag
that couldn't bare the weight of ridicule
Snow has memory
but can't stand the brunt of weight
and when we land and when it melts
be thankfully it wasn't concrete


I prefer Hobson's choice
but I guess it's a Baker's dozen tonight
You can break my foot
And I'll still blame it on a patch of ice
Cause when I have words for Judas
I flip bricks like Q*bert
So bring your henchmen
Cause I'm a ten ton leviathan
All problems solved
Cause you're ugly as sin
and I'm absolved


Thanks for reminding me
You're so bright you've blinded me
We're taking on water
bloated at sea
Protected from lobster
Suffocated by bib
Lubrication and butter
I like the cut of your jib


They went off to sea where the devil may be
but their keel ran aground
so says the prophecy
All the Sirens sang their favorite song
As the hull filled with water they sing along
“Oh, a Sailor set to sea
With his fair lady
He drank too much rum
She gave him too much gum
And his face was the last she'd see
His face was the last she'd see”


Text: (c) 2009 Timothy Dooner
Publication Date: 07-07-2009

All Rights Reserved

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