ever since that dream when i was six i was up ontop of a scyscraper looking down at the croud below there were lots of cars white black yellow silver red blue green zooming leaving white and red streeks of light. then i jumped and i fell towards it i dont know how but the sensation of falling stayed with me that day it must of been a trick of my mind. i realy dont know now a days. then a fews years later i started having dreams that seemes like reality but not some of them predicted how the day went and it was corrct i forgot what school i went to but it started out me waking getting dressed for 4th grade and i walked to school there was something wrong i didnt notice it at the time there was no sun i find that out after school ended then i saw my sister running and boys were chasing here 8th graders back then i knew i was strong so i chased after em but then i woke up for real and that was actualy how the day went but before i got into school i looked up to find the sun it was covered by gray cloulds. and at the end of the day my sister was running away from some 8th graders and i ran after em i might have been way small but to solve that matter i did the only thing i knew how to defend me or some one else use a wooden sword so i grabed a lean thick but hard long stick and continue my ran towards the 8th graders and smacked with it saly i was still on school property so i got dettention. and now skipp one year is when i started having a bad dream it wasnt like anyother it involved death. i was playing with my freind when a life sized snake came and wraped it self around me and told me somebodys gonna die and somebody did die in the real life my mom freind died it was sad though thats when i figured i might be as well looking for clues why i am like this so i began my key strength in me watch listen and act i watch the petal fall from apple blooms i watched the girls gossop about make up and boy freinds i watched the cas came by and i watch there reaction with one another you could say i was watching body languege like one day in 6th grade i saw a girl sipping water looking left and then to the right my instinct told me she was nervous so i whispered why are you nervous she answered its about the test. thing didnt go well from then on. people started changing. i good people turn bad and get chorupted. i saw others get hurt like when my freind got hit and flew a couple of feet i punch the attacker saying nock it off. i never am violent only when necesary i am pretty much calm. im trusted with people but when come to social its mike weak spot i perfer loneliness unless i have some one dear to me around. but now a days no one cares whats going on when some one gets introuble i am not the cause of it or people pick on me they say im not good looking and i believe em i see my face it aint a pretty sight anymore. i know but i dont care what i look like or any one else does to me who cares what you look like as long as you shower every other day im fine. and also people that dont know how to stand up to some one kinda get me angered because they cant control you forever i have bottled up anger emotion i cant show. every day is a living hell but i rely on my dreams to save me or the people around me sometimes you cant control things you dont know how to controlbecause death could be right around the corner staring right in your eyes. or it might be when you see in your dreams either way we were here. this is human humans feel and dream humans see and hear humans love and hate most of all humans destroy themselves to gain fame or to gain confadince im neither i gain by stopping it i have been throughn acroos pavements seen death and rebeled but none of it helps i still have the dreams who ever sees them sorry i cant help you i am a defender even if they are my enemys. it doesnt matter though when every day you cry every day you try to kill yourself every day you try to make up for what you did back then it doesnt matter anymore because everyday you forget till it comes up again and you repaet till you feel nothing. there is things that can help. just dream just sleep your clues will be there when you nighmare ask why your human im not im am not a human anymore im just nobody or nothing. it happens trust me this will help be silent be quiet observe set your sight on something mor ethan you can do because you can be impossible and youll make it unlike me you might go through them walls of life ignore it you might be walking on water who gives a damn look for more and strive for it i failed this is more every night since a few weeks ago i slept with nothing in my mind but her. people cant help it sometimes they dont dream or they see but cant hear belive and you will do it find your center look for clues live to the second fullest find and go for 110% or more effort try to get to the best of life and find what your good at im dead inside i have been tortured till i have been alive i dont know much about others other than there weak there small and they want to be noticed. so go and find a good life find your center something that you can hold on for the rest of your life like home him or her hope or ate whatever it is find it and make sure your living or you are no more than a rock lying there in wait to die or being used steped on or broken up and ever thing else. live and love trust me your human and im not.
me sighning out
ever since my three sister came in i had to grow up a lot my parents faught a lot and i was in a state that i didnt care if they faught as long as they dont hurt each other
Publication Date: 09-29-2015
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its about who and what i am